Scott Walker Begins Sobering Up to Qualify for Unemployment Assistance

After being ousted as Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker will now have to flush his system of illegal substances in order to qualify for unemployment assistance.

Wisconsin is just one of three states having passed laws to allow drug testing for their unemployment insurance programs. In like-minded Florida, the state ended their program after spending more money on tests than it would have lost paying the unemployment money out.

Drug use is not high among the unemployed – making Walker a noteworthy outlier and minority.

“Generally, government-mandated drug testing not based on individualized suspicion is unconstitutional,” a sweaty, clammy Walker stated while wiping tears from his eyes. “This law promotes negative stereotypes of an unemployed minority of U.S. citizens.”

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