Tom Brady on Super Bowl: ‘I Plan to Cheat Again’
“I wouldn’t necessarily call it cheating. That’s not the correct wording,” said Bilichick. Continue reading Tom Brady on Super Bowl: ‘I Plan to Cheat Again’
Category: Latest News
Over 7% of This Year’s Winter Olympic Athletes are Blind
The visually impaired are suddenly excelling at winter sports and scientists want to know why. Continue reading Over 7% of This Year’s Winter Olympic Athletes are Blind
Working Americans Cherish Flu Season
“I absolutely loathe flu season,” stated Comcast CEO Brian L. Roberts. Continue reading Working Americans Cherish Flu Season
Steve Bannon Starts Line of Alcoholic Bananas
‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which… Continue reading Steve Bannon Starts Line of Alcoholic Bananas
Trump Supporters Denied ‘Protected Class Status’ Continue Fight
“As the Supreme Court of Alabama is the highest court in America, we will be continuing our fight on another path.” Continue reading Trump Supporters Denied ‘Protected Class Status’ Continue Fight
The ‘Too Soon’ Gun Campaign Asks Domestic Terrorists to “Tone it Down”
Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who wants to purchase more military-grade weapons. Continue reading The ‘Too Soon’ Gun Campaign Asks Domestic Terrorists to “Tone it Down”
Bill Nye Quits Science Think Tank, Sends Trump Blunt Resignation
I had to simplify it enough so that Trump would maybe understand it and still take the time to read the whole thing.” Continue reading Bill Nye Quits Science Think Tank, Sends Trump Blunt Resignation
BREAKING: White House Sources – Trump Has Awful Stroke
“I would always tell him that it’s not a good idea to eat a ‘snack’ before, during, and after each hole at one of his world-renowned golf courses,” sadly… Continue reading BREAKING: White House Sources – Trump Has Awful Stroke
Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House
President Donald Trump used a morning staff meeting today to address leaks that have plagued his administration since day one. In an impassioned speech, the President touched on many topics – concluding with the implementation of a strict ‘No Farting’ … Continue reading Strict ‘No Farting’ Policy Enforced in White House
Wright Brothers Condemn United Airlines Incident
In a timely press release the Wright Brothers, who invented flight, said “This isn’t what we intended. We only overbooked as a joke when racist aunt Karen wanted to visit, and she wasn’t technically, completely white.” Thank you for reading … Continue reading Wright Brothers Condemn United Airlines Incident
Michelle Obama Lifts Barack to Place Kenyan Symbol on Christmas Tree
Tallest first lady ever lifts President Obama in famous tradition. Continue reading Michelle Obama Lifts Barack to Place Kenyan Symbol on Christmas Tree
8’6″ Michelle Obama Frequently Rescues Cats From D.C. Trees
A little known fact about our eight-foot-six-inch-tall first lady Michelle Obama is that she uses her phenomenally long and powerful arms to rescue cats and kittens that get stuck in Washington D.C. metropolitan area trees. Hovering at just over 8’6″, … Continue reading 8’6″ Michelle Obama Frequently Rescues Cats From D.C. Trees
Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America. Continue reading Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
5th Hijacked Plane from 9/11 Still Flying
There is, in fact, a 5th hijacked plan from 9/11 that is still flying above our borders, with hostages. Let that sink in, because I know I had to as well. Let’s just pause to think about that.” Continue reading 5th Hijacked Plane from 9/11 Still Flying
Massachusetts Law Bans Homophobic People From Bathrooms
(Boston, MA) In what can only be called shocking, Massachusetts legislators have passed a law that bans homophobic people from using bathrooms. The law, which will take effect on Monday, has some people – for lack of a better term – pissed off. Continue reading Massachusetts Law Bans Homophobic People From Bathrooms