Steve Bannon Starts Line of Alcoholic Bananas

Former executive chairman of Breitbart News and 7-month White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon has announced his newest venture: Alcohol-infused bananas. Straying from his comfort zone of selling incorrect opinions as facts to naive “adults,” Bannon is already delving into his new pet project.

“I’ve decided to refocus my political expertise into my one, true passion  – liquor,” hiccuped Bannon.

Bannon’s adult beverage bananas, or ‘Bananons,’ will be infused with Everclear grain alcohol which weighs in at 190 proof or 95% alcohol. Bananons are branded as being “For the Alcoholic On-The-Go.”

These discrete, portable, booze-soaked bananas each contain 6 ounces of firewater – equating to 9.5 shots of your typical alcohol due to the potency of Everclear. Although the scent of banana is still somewhat noticeable, it will do little to nothing to cover up any shame that may remain within the consumer.

In his first infomercial on QVC, Steve Bannon revealed that Bananons will be sold both as singles and in bunches-of-7 so that consumers can “decide if they want to numb the pain or just end it all that day.”

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