“Schwarzenegger was also not ‘carrying a backpack,’ he was actually strapped in to a military-grade jet pack.”
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Pope Francis Will Allow Gay Priests to Marry
“Let’s fix this now and add some pizzazz and sparkle to the church.”- Pope Francis
Obama Begins Nationwide Confiscation of Guns
The former President reported that it was “very easy” to find most of the guns.
How to Identify Fake News
Here are key ways to minimize the negative impact of such websites.
Trump Steals Song Lyrics for Press Conference Answer
“What would you say to those around the world who are afraid of your leadership” – Trump paused, took a deep breath, and began:
Donald Trump: Why Don’t We Have a White Friday?
The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #Disgraceful.
Lying Obummers Slays Pardoned Turkeys
Obama backtracks on promise to spare the lives of innocent turkeys named Tater and Tot – ruining a longstanding American tradition.
Michelle Obama Lifts Barack to Place Kenyan Symbol on Christmas Tree
Tallest first lady ever lifts President Obama in famous tradition.
SoCal Children, Babies Already Impacted by THC in Smog
Californians may have unknowingly gotten a lot of small children incredibly high.
8’6″ Michelle Obama Frequently Rescues Cats From D.C. Trees
A little known fact about our eight-foot-six-inch-tall first lady Michelle Obama is that she uses her phenomenally long and powerful arms to rescue cats and kittens that get stuck in Washington D.C. metropolitan area trees. Hovering at just over 8’6″, and being the tallest woman in the world, the first lady said that she felt…
Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America.
5th Hijacked Plane from 9/11 Still Flying
There is, in fact, a 5th hijacked plan from 9/11 that is still flying above our borders, with hostages. Let that sink in, because I know I had to as well. Let’s just pause to think about that.”
BREAKING: Supreme Court Cancels 2016 Election, Unanimously
BREAKING: (D.C.) In an unprecedented judicial move, the United States Supreme Court has just used its power to halt the 2016 Presidential election on the grounds of an obscure, little-known, yet legitimate measure found in The U.S. Constitution. With one seat still vacant in the court, the 8-0 vote passed in the late hours of…
A Furious, Confused Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Black Lives Matter
“Obviously black people love sports, and that’s why their babies are born during the basketball season, and football, and for those Kenyan blacks – the spring track season,” said Palin.
Study: At Least 50% of Americans Need to Restart Their Brains
Leading scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) are saying that a large portion of Americans need to hit the reset button on their brains. The problem has gotten so bad that scientists fear many people can’t actually see how different things can be interconnected, or conversely, completely unrelated. “The human brain is not…
