Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky had thousands of white flags and directions on how to surrender airdropped on top of Russian troops today. Some people are calling the move psychological warfare, while others say it was simply a joke to raise … Continue reading Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Biden sends troops back to afghanistan to get oil

Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

The US military is doing an about-face and heading back to Afghanistan after President Joe Biden suddenly remembered that the war-torn country has massive, untapped oil reserves. Biden says it would be “unconscionable” to not secure the oil. “It would … Continue reading Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

President Joe Biden delivered a speech today in which he stated that if more insurrectionists wanted to try to take down the government that they would need weapons such as F-15’s and nukes to even have a chance against the … Continue reading Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

0.0034% of US Veterans Sign Open Letter Supporting Trump

Of the nearly 20.4 million US veterans in the United States, the Trump Administration managed to coax just under 700 of them on Craigslist to sign an open letter in support of the president. The letter comes just after it … Continue reading 0.0034% of US Veterans Sign Open Letter Supporting Trump

Heroic Dog Refuses to Accept Medal of Honor Until Country Elects a Real Leader

A German Shepherd named Max who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan is refusing to accept the Medal of Honor until the United States elects a new president. “I would rather be shaved bald and forced to take a bath … Continue reading Heroic Dog Refuses to Accept Medal of Honor Until Country Elects a Real Leader

Trump: ‘America Is Stockpiling Coronavirus to Use at a Later Date’

An explanation for the United States’ abysmal handling of the coronavirus has come to light after Trump stated that he has been trying to quietly build up America’s COVID-19 bioweapon stockpile ever since the virus reached the country. Specifically, the … Continue reading Trump: ‘America Is Stockpiling Coronavirus to Use at a Later Date’

Trump Poops His Pants at Pennsylvania Rally

Trump to Reinstate ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ to Prevent a Buttigieg Presidency

President Trump announced today that he will be reinstating “Don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT), which was the official United States policy on military service by gays, bisexuals, and lesbians up until 2011. President Trump says the law will bar openly … Continue reading Trump to Reinstate ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ to Prevent a Buttigieg Presidency

Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…” Continue reading Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address