“Wrap the baby beautifully in a flour tortilla and toss it in the oven,” Trump stated while wiping saliva from his chin. “If you do all of that, then maybe I take a little bite. A nibble. I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that,” Siri apologized as a wide-eyed Cook choked on a chunk of the XS Max.
“Papa John’s confirms that Shaq will be allowed to say the N-word at his discretion within his seven contracted advertisements.”
“Mr. Trump rationalized eating 17 apple pies before vomiting all over himself and his desk. It makes sense to us, but we don’t expect the mainstream media to get it.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Campbell’s reports selling over 1.2 tons of Prego Afterbirth-Style pasta sauce in the first week.
Garten has been raising her own humans for consumption in a coop next to her garden.
“If you are going to pick one, pick bulimia. That’s all we’re saying here.”
Doctors have voiced concerns over the ingestion of coal by minors.