Hot COVID Trends: Taking Pictures of Scraps of Food On a Wooden Plank
An all-new epidemic has hit social media during COVID-19 and it’s dumber, yet somehow more complicated than baking and eating an entire loaf of sourdough bread. Presenting the charcuterie board!
Charcuterie boards are glorified Lunchables for adults. They’re stupid planks of wood covered in various overpriced meats, cheeses, fruits, and nuts – and as you may have noticed – everyone won’t stop posting their pictures of them. What do you think?
“I appreciate the effort, but what the fuck am I supposed to do with seven olives, three slices of salami, five almonds, and a gigantic fucking stack of cheese?” – Joey Garcia, volunteer lifeguard
“Nothing says ‘here, eat the rest of the shit left over in my kitchen’ quite like a charcuterie board.” – Margaret Schilling, dog food taster
“I’m not trying to eat an art exhibit.” – Willard Housen, TV corpse
“I hear if you list everything on the board quickly you can cast a spell: Prosciutto crudo, marmalade, bresaola, havarti!” – Josh Bramford, stay-at-home son
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