News broke today that former president Donald Trump may have violated the Presidential Records Act hundreds of times due to his incredibly odd habit of tearing up and eating official government documents.

“Mr. Trump ate sensitive articles, letters, schedules, briefings, memos and more – all while claiming executive privilege to do so,” an anonymous former staffer confirmed. “Sometimes the former president would start ripping off pieces of paper with his teeth. Other times he would just let the corner of the paper soak in his mouth until it began to fall apart. Then he’d swallow it.”

When staffers caught Trump in time, they would force the president to spit out the saliva-covered, torn up paper into the trash before drying and eventually taping the documents back together.

“It was not uncommon to watch staffers make president Trump spit out pieces of classified documents onto the Oval Office desk or on the floor of Air Force One,” the staffer stated.

Notably, the Presidential Records Act required the White House to preserve all written communication relating to Trump’s official duties and turn it over to the National Archives.

An expert familiar with the National Archives process says that staff there were shocked by what they received from the Trump administration as many pieces of paper had clearly been soaked in spit causing the ink to bleed – making entire paragraphs unreadable.

When reached for comment a senior Trump White House official said that Trump “never ate any important documents. Those were put into burn bags and destroyed. The president had nothing to do with that.”