house bill forces stand for rainbow flag and kiss same sex sports

Equality Bill Would Force All Americans To Salute Rainbow Flag Before Sporting Events

A Republican nightmare is unfolding as House Democrats passed a bill today that would require all US citizens to stand and salute the rainbow flag before every sporting event. The move comes just days after it became mandatory for US … Continue reading Equality Bill Would Force All Americans To Salute Rainbow Flag Before Sporting Events

CDC to quarantine trump rallygoers after Tulsa Speech

CDC to Quarantine Tulsa Rally-Goers Immediately After Trump Finishes His Speech

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today that they will be detaining and quarantining all Trump rally-goers in Tulsa, Oklahoma immediately after the president finishes his speech. People in the building will have no choice in the matter … Continue reading CDC to Quarantine Tulsa Rally-Goers Immediately After Trump Finishes His Speech

Pro Lifers Chant ‘My Body, My Choice!’ While Spreading COVID-19, Killing Others

Swarms of conservatives surrounded Pennsylvania’s capitol building in Harrisburg today while chanting the popular pro-choice phrase “My body, my choice!” all while ignoring social distancing rules and undoubtedly spreading the coronavirus to one another. With rallies like this taking place … Continue reading Pro Lifers Chant ‘My Body, My Choice!’ While Spreading COVID-19, Killing Others

Joe Biden Tells Confused Crowd About ‘The Time Dan Ate the Clouds Like Cotton Candy’

(Philadelphia, PA) Former Vice President Joe Biden gave an incoherent, rambling speech at a rally this afternoon in front of a small, perplexed crowd. At one point during the speech Biden spent several minutes talking about “the time Dan ate … Continue reading Joe Biden Tells Confused Crowd About ‘The Time Dan Ate the Clouds Like Cotton Candy’

Tom Steyer Sings, Dances on Stage With Marilyn Manson to ‘This is The New Sh*t’

Presidential candidate Tom Steyer took the stage with Marilyn Manson in South Carolina today, just a day after white-boy twerking on stage with Juvenile to ‘Back That Ass Up’. Notably, Steyer sang the chorus to Manson’s chart-topping song ‘This is … Continue reading Tom Steyer Sings, Dances on Stage With Marilyn Manson to ‘This is The New Sh*t’

Pete Buttigieg Gives Presidential Acceptance Speech After Learning He’s Polling Second in Nevada Primary

Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg took to the stage at his Genoa, Nevada rally today having just learned he was polling in second place for the state’s upcoming February 22nd primary. The jubilant Mayor of South Bend, Indiana then inexplicably launched … Continue reading Pete Buttigieg Gives Presidential Acceptance Speech After Learning He’s Polling Second in Nevada Primary

Gun rights activists show stylish side by wearing masquerade ball outfits while carry guns around Virginia’s capital

A group of white supremacists, anti-government militias, extremists – and what we are assuming are some very fine people – gathered today outside of the the capital building in Richmond, Virginia wearing masquerade outfits to protest background checks for purchasing … Continue reading Gun rights activists show stylish side by wearing masquerade ball outfits while carry guns around Virginia’s capital

Witch Hunt: Democrats line up to stack rocks on a nude Donald Trump as impeachment nears a dramatic end

Witch Hunt: Democrats line up to stack rocks on a nude Donald Trump as impeachment nears a dramatic end

Hellbent on completing their witch hunt in a timely manner, Democrats showed up at Donald Trump’s rally in Battle Creek, Michigan tonight; torches in hand. The mob burst on stage, interrupting Trump who was honoring a military dog. The president … Continue reading Witch Hunt: Democrats line up to stack rocks on a nude Donald Trump as impeachment nears a dramatic end

Trump Spends Entire Cincinnati Rally Explaining the Intricacies of the East Coast-West Coast Rap Rivalry to a Bewildered Crowd

Trump went into vivid detail while describing the childhoods of famed rappers The Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur. Continue reading Trump Spends Entire Cincinnati Rally Explaining the Intricacies of the East Coast-West Coast Rap Rivalry to a Bewildered Crowd

Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

Trump Says He Wonders What Babies Taste Like at Wisconsin Rally

“Wrap the baby beautifully in a flour tortilla and toss it in the oven,” Trump stated while wiping saliva from his chin. “If you do all of that, then maybe I take a little bite. A nibble. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Continue reading Trump Says He Wonders What Babies Taste Like at Wisconsin Rally