CNN has come under fire after their town hall on racism this morning took a dark turn. Parents across the country are now voicing their outrage after the news channel allowed the Sesame Street character Big Bird to beat the … Continue reading Raw: Big Bird Explains Racism to Kids by Beating Elmo Senseless on CNN Town Hall
A section of South Ocean Boulevard in Palm Beach, Florida – the road that lead’s to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago – was renamed ‘Racist’s Way’ today by local Mayor Gail Coniglio. Coniglio says the renaming serves as both a rebuke of the … Continue reading Mayor Renames Road Leading to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago ‘Racist’s Way’
Slathered in oil and soaking up the sun on a crowded Huntington Beach, right-wing Californian Cassandra Davies says she’s expressing her “right to go outside, get a nice dark tan, and do whatever the hell I want.” “I don’t know … Continue reading Patriot Criticizes Protests During Pandemic While Lounging on a Crowded Beach
Riding a wave of anti-racism that has swept the US, governors across the country have begun the removal of Confederate statues, monuments, and plaques. Virginia’s Governor Ralph Northam says that he and several other governors plan to replace the memorials … Continue reading Confederate Statues Across US Are Being Replaced With White Flags of Surrender
Despite deadly counter-charms and curses, another horcrux was destroyed by rioters in Minneapolis last night. Witnesses say that the horcrux, which was poorly disguised as the Third Precinct Police Building, tried to protect itself by apparating countless angry men from … Continue reading Rioters Destroy Police Station, Leaving Just Three More Poorly-Disguised Horcruxes
Countless white fans are itching for sports and their championship games to resume so that they have their own reason to loot and riot. One Philadelphia Eagles fan, Michael Hillard, says he’s been wanting to “fuck some shit up” for … Continue reading White People Long for Sports Championships to Resume So They Have a Reason to Riot Too
Police officers are under investigation for grand theft and possession of a prohibited weapon after wheeling a WWI cannon from nearby Gold Medal Park and leaving it in a crowd of protesters in downtown Minneapolis. Three officers have been put … Continue reading Officer Shouts ‘They’ve All Got a Gun!’ After Wheeling WWI Canon Into Crowd
Confident that he’d like to murder at least one person, 17-year-old Thomas Wilkins of Genesee, Wisconsin says he’s torn between becoming a serial killer or a police officer. “Next year I’ll be 18, which means I’ll be old enough to … Continue reading Future Murderer Torn Between Becoming a Serial Killer or a Police Officer
After a morning interview in which former Vice President Joe Biden told black Americans “you ain’t black” if you are voting for Trump, president Trump fired back with two tweets, drawing a sharp contrast between the two candidates. Continue reading ‘If You Like Your Skin Color, You Can Keep It’ Trump Reassures Black Supporters
“If this will lift the curse from constructing Arrowhead Stadium on an Indian burial ground, then we’re willing to let it slide.” – Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt Continue reading Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes Gives His MVP Trophy to a Nearby Native American Tribe
“Maybe it’ll actually be good enough to win an award this time.” – Will Ferrell Continue reading Will Ferrell & Brad Pitt Will Star in a Remake of Boyz n the Hood
“I’m not sure why we’d give the swastika to one side over the other,” Trump stated. “If we’re trying to accept everyone, we need to start by including minority groups like the Klan in these discussions.” Continue reading Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
“This isn’t about racism,” Trump stated. “It’s about my tiny dick.” Continue reading Trump: “We All Know I Would Never Kiss a Black Woman”
“The letter went on in vivid detail describing the painting process, preferred makeup brands, how to wash mascara out of your underwear, and more.” Continue reading Virginia Politician: “What if We Only Painted Our Genitals?”
Early reports confirm Trump stars in the film as Ronald Klump, an “incredibly-relatable, African American Trump supporter who ventures on a mission to get Mexico to pay for the wall.” Continue reading Trump to Play Blackfaced ‘Ronald Klump’ Alongside Kanye West in Summer Blockbuster Movie
Trump is trying to rectify the situation by sending Civil War participation trophies to his seething supporters. Continue reading Nationwide Removal of All Confederate Statues Begins as Participation Trophies are Sent to Grieving Southerners
South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster announced today that he will be performing the national anthem before the Super Bowl utilizing only his anus. Known for being outspoken – having demanded that everyone stand for the national anthem – McMaster says … Continue reading South Carolina Gov. Will Fart National Anthem at Super Bowl
“It really comes down to time and resources.” Continue reading White Americans Will Be Allowed ‘JUST ONE’ 911 Call Per Year
