Tofurky Releases Trophy-Hunt Lion Steak, More Options
“We’re trying to attract more meat-eaters by selling a diverse selection of what we are pretty sure they like to eat,” Continue reading Tofurky Releases Trophy-Hunt Lion Steak, More Options
Tag: really
Senate Republicans Hire Hooters to Cater Kavanaugh Hearing
“I just don’t see the problem here.” – Senator McConnell Continue reading Senate Republicans Hire Hooters to Cater Kavanaugh Hearing
Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight
“He’s found a loophole here and it’s simply stunning.” – Rudy Giuliani Continue reading Kavanaugh Avoids Sex Scandal by Becoming Ordained Priest Overnight
Trump Threatens Italy as Florence Strikes Coast
“It appears that he was not remotely aware of the situation and still probably isn’t.” Continue reading Trump Threatens Italy as Florence Strikes Coast
Study: Millennials are the First Generation to Not View Pornography for the Plot Line
“These kids aren’t fully investing themselves in the vibrant artistic expression and riveting stories.” – Jane Meyers, Head of Stanford’s Sex & Gender Studies Continue reading Study: Millennials are the First Generation to Not View Pornography for the Plot Line
FDA Approves iPhone Birth Control App
“It will sound like an airplane is taking off inside of the user’s vagina,” iBort creator Justin Swartzky stated. Continue reading FDA Approves iPhone Birth Control App
Mexico Agrees to Build Wall, Trump Will Permit Underground Tunnels
“I make great deals, okay? This deal is really phenomenal on the surface. It’s a wonderful, superficial deal,” Trump said. Continue reading Mexico Agrees to Build Wall, Trump Will Permit Underground Tunnels
Trump is Selling ‘Urine-Scented’ Perfume
‘MAGA’ is a unisex perfume boasting liquefied $100 bills as a key ingredient. Continue reading Trump is Selling ‘Urine-Scented’ Perfume
Neil Degrasse Tyson is Donating Sperm in Massive Quantities
Tyson offered a confusingly graphic, yet scientific explanation. Continue reading Neil Degrasse Tyson is Donating Sperm in Massive Quantities