The bill, which is entitled the ‘Act Legitimizing Morally Offensive Shootings Today,’ or A.L.M.O.S.T., will place restrictions on those selling guns after 37 mass shootings have taken place in the calendar year. Continue reading Congress Passes Strict Gun Control Law Limiting Mass Shootings to 37 Per Year
A visibly frustrated and bewildered Joe Biden asked a group of reporters today – out loud – if he was losing his mind, questioning “Am I fucking crazy? Shouldn’t I be winning by, like, a lot?” “I feel like I’m … Continue reading Biden Questions Own Mental Health: ‘Am I Crazy? Shouldn’t I Be Winning By, Like, A Lot?’
The United States Supreme Court ruled this morning that states can now punish Electoral College members that don’t vote for the candidate who wins statewide presidential balloting. The news comes after the young country just celebrated its 244th year as … Continue reading Supreme Court Ruling Pushes Nation Dangerously Close to Becoming a Real Democracy
Pete Buttigieg just confirmed multiple reports regarding a 2019 meeting between himself and Bernie Sanders in which they disagreed on whether a bottom could win the 2020 presidential election. “Among the topics that came up was could a bottom win … Continue reading BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg confirms Bernie Sanders said he didn’t think a bottom could win the presidency
Hillary Clinton made a surprise appearance at a Trump Rally in Altoona, Pennsylvania today where she shared a kiss with the president for National Kiss and Make Up Day. Continue reading Crowd chants “Knock her up! Knock her up!” as Trump, Clinton swap saliva on National Kiss and Make Up Day
“I’m running because I have a very particular set of skills,” the 7-foot tall former FBI Director bellowed. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, Mr. Trump.” Continue reading Robert Mueller Announces Presidential Bid to Take Down Trump
According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton. Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr
“I hate to say this folks, but it’s to the point where we may have to make something up.” Continue reading FOX News Anxiously Awaits Another Tragedy
The polls showed a likely win for her, but the results did not reflect that; whatsoever. Now we have a fail-safe and proven reason as to why he managed to become the next President of the United States of America. Continue reading Princeton Study: How Trump Defeated Clinton, Why the Polls Were Wrong
BREAKING: (D.C.) In an unprecedented judicial move, the United States Supreme Court has just used its power to halt the 2016 Presidential election on the grounds of an obscure, little-known, yet legitimate measure found in The U.S. Constitution. With one … Continue reading BREAKING: Supreme Court Cancels 2016 Election, Unanimously
***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a … Continue reading Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign
After weeks of back-and-forth rhetoric, Hillary Clinton has finally agreed to debate Bernie Sanders. The Hillary Clinton/DNC Campaign has generously offered several dates, times, and locations for the two to clash – including some specific rules. Option #1: During the … Continue reading BREAKING: Hillary Clinton Agrees to Debate Bernie Sanders
American psychologists assessed IQ’s of Presidential Candidates #jeopardy Continue reading American Psychologists Release Estimated IQ’s of Presidential Candidates
it certainly appears that Presidential hopeful Donald Trump outperformed the rest of the potential candidates on Thursday night’s FOX News sponsored Republican debate. Indeed, the real… Continue reading Donald Trump Wins First Republican Debate by a Landslide
Many intelligent, right-wingers were not fooled by Clinton’s attempt to sound like one of them when she began to talk about things that they were not interested in. Continue reading Hillary Clinton Unapologetically Disrespects Southerners
As the only news source to solely cover the Saturday Night Live skit – and the fact that Bill Clinton has lost it – the assumed Democratic frontrunner is condemning all news sources other than Fox News. Continue reading Fox News Favors Hillary Clinton, Establishes Symbiotic Relationship
