The feud between Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert is dramatically increasing in intensity. The congresswomen – who had previously been buddies that heckled Joe Biden during his first State of the Union – decided to settle the debate of who is smarter today by drawing straws.
The two representatives agreed to meet exactly halfway between the districts they represent in Colorado and Georgia. Consequently, both women inexplicably showed up in Anchorage, Alaska, but somehow on the exact date and at the precise time that they had agreed upon. Due to their surprise appearance, only local news was there to cover the story.
“Whatever it is that is clearly wrong with both of these ladies, it appears that they’re afflicted by the same thing,” a reporter from the Anchorage Daily News stated. “Nothing about this today made any sense.”
Greene and Boebert met at The Moose’s Tooth Restaurant in the downtown area and the two were presented with straws of varying lengths to inspect before they were to each pull one from the bunch. As the rules go, whoever drew the longest straw would win and be declared the smarter of the two; but the two women looked very confused.
The congresswomen, who were sitting down in a booth facing toward each other, then pulled out pencils and paper and began drawing feverishly.
Three and a half hours later the exhausted Boebert and Greene held up the drawings that they had created:
“It immediately became apparent that there was no one ready to judge the drawings as nobody in their right mind thought that this was what would happen,” the reporter stated.
“Who is supposed to be the judge!? How can this be impartial!?” an upset Boebert shouted after climbing up on top of the table.
“Well, my straws are longer and I finished faster!” Greene rebutted as she attempted to flip the table that Boebert now stood on.
As of press time, both congresswoman are absolutely certain that they won and that the competition was rigged.