News broke today that the gopher from Caddyshack – now turned Federal agent – overheard three residents from The Villages admit to committing voter fraud in the 2020 election. The gopher was sent to secretly monitor the community using a … Continue reading ‘Caddyshack’ Gopher Catches Trump Supporters Who Voted Multiple Times In 2020
Several Republican members of Congress declared today that the Covid pandemic – which has caused nearly 800,000 deaths in the United States – is now over. As the news spread throughout the country, countless right wing hospital workers started removing … Continue reading Ventilators Removed From Patients & Burned As Republicans Declare Pandemic Over
Sources have confirmed that Justice Bruce Schroeder, who is inattentively presiding over the Kyle Rittenhouse homicide trial, is currently residing in Parkside Manor Assisted Living in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Justice Schroeder has been getting FBI escorts to and from the nursing … Continue reading Judge In Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Gets FBI Escort To & From Nursing Home Every Day
Representative Matt Krause (R-TX) has compiled a list of 850 books that he wants to ban in schools. Krause says the books in question “might make students feel discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress because of … Continue reading TX Republican To Ban 850 Books That ‘Could Make Students Feel Uneasy’
Donald Trump filed a lawsuit today in an effort to block the National Archives from releasing documents about the January 6th insurrection to the congressional committee that is investigating the events of that day. Experts say that Trump’s claim of … Continue reading Trump Lawsuit Blocks Release Of Evidence He Claims Exonerates Him
A recent poll from the Center for Politics at the University of Virginia says that a majority of Trump voters at least “somewhat” support the idea of seceding from the United States. Here’s what people are saying. “Would they secede … Continue reading Poll: Many Trump Voters Support Seceding From The United States
A leaked memo from the office of Senator Ted Cruz has revealed that the Republican Party leaders don’t actually believe in much of what they say or do. When reached for comment, Cruz had some shocking things to say. “Let … Continue reading Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill into law that prevents abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy – much sooner than most women even know that they are pregnant. That law went into effect today. Under the law, … Continue reading Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ approval rating hit an all time low today as more and more of his followers continued to die off. In response to the latest numbers, DeSantis plans to host a town hall with his supporters to … Continue reading FL Gov. To Host Huge Event To Figure Out Why His Supporters Keep Dying
(Knoxville, TN) Local man Brian McMillan, who is an anti-science, anti-mask, anti-pope, anti-vaxxer has found himself so against everything that he’s now stuck saying no to everyone no matter what. McMillan says the new affliction has caused him to regret … Continue reading Anti-Science Anti-Mask Anti-Pope Anti-Vaxxer Just Saying ‘No’ To Everything At This Point
Unwilling to learn current social etiquette – and despite the fact that black coffee is widely considered the most “manly” way to take your caffeine – the conservative and veteran-run Black Rifle Coffee Company is still too confused and frightened … Continue reading Confused, Conservative-Run Coffee Chain Too Scared To Serve Black Coffee
Known for dabbling in politics, ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s is set to release a new ‘Israeli-Palestinian Conflict’ flavor that’s just chocolate and vanilla that is impossible to mix together. “What you’re basically getting here is the choice to … Continue reading Ben & Jerry’s To Release New Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Ice Cream That’s Just Chocolate & Vanilla That Refuses To Mix
Dr. Anthony Fauci is now selling merchandise on the CDC website that says “DeSantis = Death Sentence,” “Don’t DeathSantis My America” and “Don’t Florida My America” after Florida governor Ron DeSantis put “Don’t Fauci My Florida” products on his website. … Continue reading Clapback: Dr. Fauci Now Selling Merch That Says ‘DeSantis = Death Sentence’
Tennessee Republicans made moves today to ensure that the state will no longer be advocating for children to get vaccinated – not just for COVID, but for any diseases – such as HPV, polio and measles. Health experts are saying … Continue reading Tennessee GOP Okays Infanticide Via Polio & Measles By Stopping All Vaccine Outreach For Children
Despite being president for four years, Donald Trump made it clear today that he still doesn’t know how the US government operates. Trump is livid that Brett Kavanaugh – who he nominated to the position of Supreme Court justice – … Continue reading Trump Only Aware Of His Own System Of (Bounced) Checks & (Negative Account) Balances
CHARLOTTESVILLE, NC – Historians are calling into question the exact purpose of Confederate statues after a statue of Robert E. Lee cracked while being removed and pounds of Civil War era candy spilled out. Historian Debbie Arnato says it’s quite … Continue reading Intentions For Confederate Statues In Question After One Cracks During Removal & Candy Spills Out
North Carolina Republican Madison Cawthorn told audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today that the process of going door-to-door to inform Americans about vaccinations could also be used to take citizens’ guns and bibles. Here’s what people … Continue reading North Carolina Representative Cawthorn Says Biden Could Send People Door-To-Door To Confiscate Bibles & Guns
A heavily-armed state full of religious zealots known as “Texas” has passed a new abortion law that would pay $10,000 to anyone who reports their fellow citizens for having an abortion after 6 weeks of pregnancy. The new law, which … Continue reading Heavily-Armed State Of Religious Extremists Commands Citizens To Spy & Turn In Neighbors For Abortions
