Staff Forces Joe Biden to Get Hair Plugs So He’ll Stop Smelling Women’s Hair

YouReadyGrandma

Biden’s hair came from his soundproof hobby room where he keeps his personal collection of real hair, mannequins and doll parts.

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President Jimmy Carter Says Melania Trump’s Boobs Were Put In Place By The Russians

“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.”

Reebok is Selling The New ‘Confederate CrossBurn’ Shoe to Attract Nike Boycotters

YouReadyGrandma

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Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”

YouReadyGrandma

“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.

Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Masters Resting Bitch Face Just in Time to Replace Sarah Sanders

YouReadyGrandma

Grisham is scheduled to take a crowbar to the face later today in an attempt to make her eye situation match that of Sanders.

U.S. Treasury is Voiding the Value of the $20 Bill Due to Problems With New Harriet Tubman Twenty

YouReadyGrandma

Get rid of your twenty dollar bills before it’s too late! The U.S. Treasury Department says it will be taking the value of a $20 bill down to zero.

U.S. Unveils 5,000 Brand New Cages For Children on World Refugee Day

YouReadyGrandma

“America can’t take the tired, poor, huddled masses in without somewhere to put ’em.”