The Trump Border Wall Hotel will be the 15th longest structure in the world and have over half a million rooms. Continue reading Supreme Court Ruling Gives Green Light For Trump Border Wall Hotel Construction
“It’s our time now! The dawning of the age of the Reptilians is upon us!” – Mitch McConnell Continue reading Mitch McConnell Blocks Election Security Bills in Preparation for The Reptilian Takeover
“We had a brief window of opportunity here and we didn’t take it,” presidential candidate Cory Booker stated. Continue reading White House Quietly Removes Treason From Offenses Punishable by Death
Today marks the first time that Merriam-Webster has put an official photograph in their famous dictionary. Continue reading Webster’s Dictionary Adds Photo of Trump to the Definition of ‘Racist’
“Donald J. Trump is up for Best Performance in a Comedy Series that lasts for one term or less.” Continue reading Trump White House Nominated for Multiple Emmys, Including Best Limited Series
“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.” Continue reading President Jimmy Carter Says Melania Trump’s Boobs Were Put In Place By The Russians
Trump is revealing the meaning of ‘covfefe’ and people couldn’t be more excited. Continue reading Expect a Giant Covfefe Balloon at Trump’s 4th of July Parade
“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted. Continue reading Supreme Court Rules “Corporations Can Also Be Gay People”
Grisham is scheduled to take a crowbar to the face later today in an attempt to make her eye situation match that of Sanders. Continue reading Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham Masters Resting Bitch Face Just in Time to Replace Sarah Sanders
Get rid of your twenty dollar bills before it’s too late! The U.S. Treasury Department says it will be taking the value of a $20 bill down to zero. Continue reading U.S. Treasury is Voiding the Value of the $20 Bill Due to Problems With New Harriet Tubman Twenty
President Trump celebrated his 73rd birthday by getting a tattoo of Pepe the Frog on his right butt cheek. Continue reading Fresh Ink: Trump Gets Pepe The Frog Tattoo For His Birthday
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.” Continue reading Ghost of John McCain Announces 2020 Presidential Bid
An executive order from the desk of President Trump has put an end to genetically-modified, cyborg baby programs. Continue reading U.S. Stops Development of Genetically-Modified, Cybernetic Babies
“I picked up the sweet, floral tones of South Colombian cocaine and the chemical aura of John Frieda’s Luxurious Volume Forever Full Hairspray for Fine Wigs.” – Joe Biden Continue reading Joe Biden: “Trump’s Wig Has an Overwhelming Odor Of Cocaine and Hairspray”
“Genetically-speaking the lineage has certain characteristics that really stand out; such as having categorically unpleasant hair and personalities.” – 23andMe CEO Anne Wojcicki Continue reading 23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers
Republicans now agree that the President has committed an impeachable offense. Continue reading Trump Is Being Impeached For Tweeting About “The Greatest Blowjob Ever” From Sarah Sanders
“I’m running because I have a very particular set of skills,” the 7-foot tall former FBI Director bellowed. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, Mr. Trump.” Continue reading Robert Mueller Announces Presidential Bid to Take Down Trump
“I’m not sure why we’d give the swastika to one side over the other,” Trump stated. “If we’re trying to accept everyone, we need to start by including minority groups like the Klan in these discussions.” Continue reading Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
