Fresh Ink: Trump Gets Pepe The Frog Tattoo For His Birthday
President Trump celebrated his 73rd birthday by getting a tattoo of Pepe the Frog on his right butt cheek. Continue reading Fresh Ink: Trump Gets Pepe The Frog Tattoo For His Birthday
Category: Donald Trump
Ghost of John McCain Announces 2020 Presidential Bid
“With McCain already tormenting Donald Trump by repeatedly moving and re-hiding the pee tape, we can only expect worse and worse episodes.” Continue reading Ghost of John McCain Announces 2020 Presidential Bid
U.S. Stops Development of Genetically-Modified, Cybernetic Babies
An executive order from the desk of President Trump has put an end to genetically-modified, cyborg baby programs. Continue reading U.S. Stops Development of Genetically-Modified, Cybernetic Babies
Joe Biden: “Trump’s Wig Has an Overwhelming Odor Of Cocaine and Hairspray”
“I picked up the sweet, floral tones of South Colombian cocaine and the chemical aura of John Frieda’s Luxurious Volume Forever Full Hairspray for Fine Wigs.” – Joe Biden Continue reading Joe Biden: “Trump’s Wig Has an Overwhelming Odor Of Cocaine and Hairspray”
23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers
“Genetically-speaking the lineage has certain characteristics that really stand out; such as having categorically unpleasant hair and personalities.” – 23andMe CEO Anne Wojcicki Continue reading 23andMe Discovers Gary Busey & Boris Johnson Are Trump’s Brothers
Trump Is Being Impeached For Tweeting About “The Greatest Blowjob Ever” From Sarah Sanders
Republicans now agree that the President has committed an impeachable offense. Continue reading Trump Is Being Impeached For Tweeting About “The Greatest Blowjob Ever” From Sarah Sanders
Robert Mueller Announces Presidential Bid to Take Down Trump
“I’m running because I have a very particular set of skills,” the 7-foot tall former FBI Director bellowed. “Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, Mr. Trump.” Continue reading Robert Mueller Announces Presidential Bid to Take Down Trump
Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
“I’m not sure why we’d give the swastika to one side over the other,” Trump stated. “If we’re trying to accept everyone, we need to start by including minority groups like the Klan in these discussions.” Continue reading Courageous Group is Taking Back the Swastika.
Trump Ends Capitalism in The United States
Maybe I give some intellectual property to China and maybe in return they build me a wall on the border using those Nike worker children. Can we do this? I don’t know folks, but we’re going to try.” Continue reading Trump Ends Capitalism in The United States
Steve Cohen Sparks Massive Dumpster Fire on House Floor, Bites Heads Off of Live Chickens
Cohen poured 14 gallons of gasoline, began playing ‘Spark the Fire’ by Gwen Stefani, and lit the contents of the dumpster before biting the heads off several chickens. Continue reading Steve Cohen Sparks Massive Dumpster Fire on House Floor, Bites Heads Off of Live Chickens
Trapped & Furious: Dead Robert Mueller Can’t Cross Over to Spirit Realm Until Barr Releases Full Report
The former FBI Director enrolled in a pottery class Anderson Cooper attends in an attempt to get him to sit in between his legs while whispering key findings in his ear. Continue reading Trapped & Furious: Dead Robert Mueller Can’t Cross Over to Spirit Realm Until Barr Releases Full Report
Trump Says He Wonders What Babies Taste Like at Wisconsin Rally
“Wrap the baby beautifully in a flour tortilla and toss it in the oven,” Trump stated while wiping saliva from his chin. “If you do all of that, then maybe I take a little bite. A nibble. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Continue reading Trump Says He Wonders What Babies Taste Like at Wisconsin Rally
Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.” Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency
Trump Opens Marketing Company Called ‘Trump Consultation by Trump’
“Watch for the return of Toys “R” Trump, chains of Trumpback Steakhouse, Trumpley-Donaldson motorcycles and Old Trumpy Buffet.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders Continue reading Trump Opens Marketing Company Called ‘Trump Consultation by Trump’
Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans. Continue reading Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution
Mueller Report Says President Trump has a Severe Flatulence Problem
“It’s not uncommon for the President to fart himself awake. Then, when he can’t fall back asleep, Mr. Trump passes the time on Twitter.” Continue reading Mueller Report Says President Trump has a Severe Flatulence Problem
Joe Biden Caught on Tape Saying “Punch Her in the Taco”
Biden was leering at the frail, 85 year old Senator Dianne Feinstein when he uttered the phrase. Continue reading Joe Biden Caught on Tape Saying “Punch Her in the Taco”
Trump Marries Kellyanne Conway, Calls Her Ex-Husband a [Expletive]-Faced Monkey-[Expletive]
“This is Trump’s 4th fake marriage, but the first one that makes sense.” Continue reading Trump Marries Kellyanne Conway, Calls Her Ex-Husband a [Expletive]-Faced Monkey-[Expletive]