Trump tells his tale of the ‘Battle of The Bone Spurs’ on Veterans Day

In a morning news conference with reporters former president Donald Trump took the better part of an hour to share his own personal war story that he referred to as “The Battle of The Bone Spurs.” “People were coming at … Continue reading Trump tells his tale of the ‘Battle of The Bone Spurs’ on Veterans Day

Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky had thousands of white flags and directions on how to surrender airdropped on top of Russian troops today. Some people are calling the move psychological warfare, while others say it was simply a joke to raise … Continue reading Ukraine Trolls Putin’s Army By Airdropping Thousands Of White Flags & Directions For How To Surrender On Top Of Their Heads

Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

President Joe Biden spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin today in an effort to de-escalate incredibly high tensions surrounding what looked to be an inevitable invasion of Ukraine. As the two men were nearing the end of what seemed like … Continue reading Loud Biden Fart Makes Putin Smile For First Time In Years & Call Off Ukraine Invasion

Biden sends troops back to afghanistan to get oil

Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

The US military is doing an about-face and heading back to Afghanistan after President Joe Biden suddenly remembered that the war-torn country has massive, untapped oil reserves. Biden says it would be “unconscionable” to not secure the oil. “It would … Continue reading Troops Sent Back To Afghanistan After Biden Remembers Country Has Oil

Civil War 'Unlikely' as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Looking to ease the nation’s worries that the United States is on the brink of civil war, historians have come together to point out that too many Trump supporters have gotten COVID for the modern day South to physically rise … Continue reading Civil War ‘Unlikely’ as Most Trump Supporters Are Sick With COVID

Trump: ‘America Is Stockpiling Coronavirus to Use at a Later Date’

An explanation for the United States’ abysmal handling of the coronavirus has come to light after Trump stated that he has been trying to quietly build up America’s COVID-19 bioweapon stockpile ever since the virus reached the country. Specifically, the … Continue reading Trump: ‘America Is Stockpiling Coronavirus to Use at a Later Date’

Heartbroken: US military is distraught after “wasting 18 good years on that ignorant slut Afghanistan”

The largest military force in the world is in shambles after trying and failing to make an 18 year war with “that ignorant slut Afghanistan” work. Clearly shaken, the US military finally came to grips with reality after longtime friend, … Continue reading Heartbroken: US military is distraught after “wasting 18 good years on that ignorant slut Afghanistan”

Trump: “The radical left is taking Jesus out of the Thanksgiving Turkey preparation process”

President Trump went on a 20-minute rant at a rally in Pittsburgh, PA last night in which he described how the radical left is taking Jesus out of the Thanksgiving turkey preparation process. “They want to stop us, the lefty … Continue reading Trump: “The radical left is taking Jesus out of the Thanksgiving Turkey preparation process”