Twitter CEO Elon Musk sent out a company-wide email today informing employees that they are all required to snort cocaine. “The entire staff must able to work nonstop, and for days on end,” Musk wrote. “The only way I see … Continue reading Elon Musk Fires All Staff That Won’t Do Cocaine: ‘Everyone Must Work Nonstop’
A handful of NASCAR drivers led by Ray Ciccarelli have announced that they plan to start a new stock car racing league. Ciccarelli says the move is a direct rebuke of NASCAR’s ban on the Confederate flag from all official … Continue reading Drivers Start New Racing Association After NASCAR’s Confederate Flag Ban
President Trump’s fourth remedial English tutor in three years has quit, citing irreconcilable differences regarding words, their accurate usage, how they are spelled and their correct pronunciation. “Mr. Trump may ‘have the best words,’ but they’re frequently made-up or misspelled,” … Continue reading Trump’s 4th remedial English tutor quits citing irreconcilable differences
The amount of marijuana that Mr. Sessions consumes on a daily basis is staggering. Continue reading Jeff Sessions is Using Marijuana to Cope With His Job
“I absolutely loathe flu season,” stated Comcast CEO Brian L. Roberts. Continue reading Working Americans Cherish Flu Season
I had to simplify it enough so that Trump would maybe understand it and still take the time to read the whole thing.” Continue reading Bill Nye Quits Science Think Tank, Sends Trump Blunt Resignation
