Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring

“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.”

Advertisements
Tom Brady Announces Retirement

Tom Brady Announces Retirement

Brady revealed that he was “very hurt” by the NFL’s decision to ban him for 4 games. Further, the release stated that he “couldn’t stand to see his team slighted like this” – referring to the lost draft picks and $1 million fine.

Raiders Fan Severely Injured by Errant Insult

Raiders Fan Severely Injured by Errant Insult

(Photo by BrokenSphere. No endorsement implied) Sources say a Raiders fan that was hit with an offhand comment while at a San Francisco bar was leaking from the tear ducts as he was being carried out. Authorities report that he has sustained pride-threatening injuries. Onlookers have commented that all or part of the words shot […]