Tag: news

drugs, Entertainment News, Marijuana, Olympics, SportsLeave a comment
stoned sprinter trainer bag of flamin hot cheetos finish line unfair advantage THC

Stoned Sprinter Given ‘Unfair Advantage’ By Trainer Waiting With Big Bag Of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos At Finish Line

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The International Olympic Committee banned US sprinter Sha’Carri Richardson from participating in events this year after she tested positive for THC. When issuing their decision, the committee said that the drug would give Richardson an unfair advantage. “The last thing … Continue reading Stoned Sprinter Given ‘Unfair Advantage’ By Trainer Waiting With Big Bag Of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos At Finish Line

Joe Biden, Military, Politics, WarLeave a comment

Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

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President Joe Biden delivered a speech today in which he stated that if more insurrectionists wanted to try to take down the government that they would need weapons such as F-15’s and nukes to even have a chance against the … Continue reading Insurrectionist Who’s Mad US Military Will Defend Country From Him Is Demanding Access To F-15’s, Nukes

Entertainment News, NFL, SportsLeave a comment
aaron rodgers continue play for packers to avoid madden curse

Aaron Rodgers Says He’s ‘Avoiding The Madden Curse’ By Continuing To Play For Green Bay Packers

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Disgruntled Green Bay Packer’s quarterback Aaron Rodgers announced today that he plans to continue playing with the team despite major differences. Rodgers says he’s made this decision in order to ensure that he never faces the wrath of the Madden … Continue reading Aaron Rodgers Says He’s ‘Avoiding The Madden Curse’ By Continuing To Play For Green Bay Packers

Business, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Society, space, Travel, U.S. NewsLeave a comment
General Population Somehow Not Concerned Why Wealthy Are Desperately Trying To Make It To Outer Space

General Public Somehow Unconcerned As To Why The Wealthy Are Desperately Trying To Go To Outer Space

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A new Gallup Poll revealed today that nearly 100 percent of the general public isn’t concerned over why the extremely wealthy are trying so desperately to make it to outer space, and quickly. When reached for comment, Elon Musk said … Continue reading General Public Somehow Unconcerned As To Why The Wealthy Are Desperately Trying To Go To Outer Space

Business, Entertainment News, Kim Kardashian, TelevisionLeave a comment
immeasurably satisfying keeping up with the kardashians finale depicts every cast member dying dies

Immeasurably Satisfying Keeping Up With The Kardashians Finale Depicts Every Cast Member Dying

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Critics are calling it “the most enjoyable finale in history” as the Keeping Up With The Kardashians reality TV show ended today with Caitlyn Jenner losing control of her car, running the family over, swerving off of a cliff and … Continue reading Immeasurably Satisfying Keeping Up With The Kardashians Finale Depicts Every Cast Member Dying

Democrats, Mitch McConnell, Politics, RepublicansLeave a comment
democrats form commission to determine how republicans can live with themselves

Senate Democrats Form New Commission To Investigate How Republicans Can Live With Themselves

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Bewildered by their political counterparts, Senate Democrats voted today to form a new commission that will hopefully help them to understand exactly how Republicans are able to live with themselves. Referred to as the F.A.C.T.S. Commission – short for Finding … Continue reading Senate Democrats Form New Commission To Investigate How Republicans Can Live With Themselves

Conservative, Spirit Airlines, Travel, U.S. NewsLeave a comment
Unruly Conservatives Will Get Tased Mercilessly & Without Warning On Spirit Airlines

Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines

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Reports of an extreme uptick in unruly behavior by conservative passengers has prompted Spirit Airlines to announce that they are now supplying crew members with tasers. “In an average year, there are around 100 to 150 cases of bad passenger … Continue reading Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines

Mitch McConnell, Politics, RepublicansLeave a comment
'Saying No To The Commission Doesn't Mean You're Guilty' McConnell Chants At Hypnotized Republicans

‘Saying No To The Commission Doesn’t Imply We’re Guilty’ McConnell Chants With Hypnotized Republicans

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Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was seen hypnotizing fellow Republicans on the Senate floor today with the clear goal of making them feel okay with voting ‘no’ on the January 6th commission. “Voting against the Capitol insurrection investigation in no way implies … Continue reading ‘Saying No To The Commission Doesn’t Imply We’re Guilty’ McConnell Chants With Hypnotized Republicans

Donald Trump, Election 2020, Republicans, U.S. News, VotingLeave a comment

53% Of Republicans Think Trump Is Legally The Current President; If True He Won’t Be Able To Run In 2024 Due To Term Limits

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A poll released today revealed that 53% of Republicans firmly believe that Donald Trump is currently the real president of the United States. What’s more, another 63% say he should still run again in 2024. But if Trump were truly … Continue reading 53% Of Republicans Think Trump Is Legally The Current President; If True He Won’t Be Able To Run In 2024 Due To Term Limits

Baseball, Business, Cryptocurrency, Dogecoin, Entertainment News, SportsLeave a comment
dodgers change name to dogers after new sponsorship from dogecoin

Dodgers Move Forward With Name Change After New Sponsorship By Dogecoin

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The team formerly known as the Los Angeles Dodgers now bears a slightly-adjusted, new name and team mascot. Now recognized as the Dogers, after Dogecoin became the team’s new sponsor, the new mascot will be the a Shiba Inu dog … Continue reading Dodgers Move Forward With Name Change After New Sponsorship By Dogecoin

Food, Fox News, U.S. NewsLeave a comment
rick-santorum-just-empty-suit-and-half-baked-ham

CNN Fires Rick Santorum After Realizing He’s Just A Half-Baked Ham Balancing On An Empty Suit

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CNN cut ties with former political commentator and two-time failed GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum today after realizing that he was just a half-baked ham balancing on an empty suit. CNN, who had allowed Santorum to be on air since … Continue reading CNN Fires Rick Santorum After Realizing He’s Just A Half-Baked Ham Balancing On An Empty Suit

Politics, Republican, VoteLeave a comment
Liz Cheney reminds public shes still a horrible person

Liz Cheney Sent To Re-Education Camp To Learn How To ‘Reject The Evidence Of Her Eyes & Ears’

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After casting votes to oust Liz Cheney from her position of power today, House Republicans immediately voted to send the representative off to a new re-education camp for Republicans who won’t completely back Donald Trump. Notably, the camp is run … Continue reading Liz Cheney Sent To Re-Education Camp To Learn How To ‘Reject The Evidence Of Her Eyes & Ears’

Abortion, Health & Wellness, Healthcare, Politics, TexasLeave a comment
Texas law would allow doctors to stop mother's heartbeat in order to listen for fetus'

Texas Law Would Allow Doctors To Stop Mother’s Heartbeat In Order To Listen For Fetus’

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A new anti-abortion bill is close to becoming law in Texas after it passed 83-64 in the House yesterday. Senate Bill 8 would allow doctors to halt the hearts of pregnant women while they check to see if the fetus … Continue reading Texas Law Would Allow Doctors To Stop Mother’s Heartbeat In Order To Listen For Fetus’