Unruly Conservatives Will Get Tased Mercilessly & Without Warning On Spirit Airlines

Unruly Conservatives Will Be Tased ‘Mercilessly & Without Warning’ On Spirit Airlines

Reports of an extreme uptick in unruly behavior by conservative passengers has prompted Spirit Airlines to announce that they are now supplying crew members with tasers.

“In an average year, there are around 100 to 150 cases of bad passenger behavior,” Spirit Airlines CEO Edward Christie stated. “However, since the start of this 2021, that number has shot up to over 2,500, with 1,900 of which being right wing passengers who refused to comply with the federal mask mandate.”

Christie continued.

“It’s become quite clear that we’ve given passengers far too much leeway while they are aboard our planes.” Christie stated. “To empower our employees, we’ve added fine print to all tickets clearly stating that Spirit Airlines workers have the right to tase passengers – at any time – mercilessly and without warning.”

“If you refuse to wear a mask, you get tased,” Christie stated. “If you’re talking or not paying attention during the pre-flight safety briefing? Tased. Get out of your seat when the seatbelt sign is still lit up? Tased. Raising your voice? Tased. So much as look at us wrong. Tased.”

Christie says Spirit Airlines estimates that they will make an additional $750 million in revenue from the new rule, as anyone who is tased will be required to pay a $5,000 fine per shock.

Photo credit Marco Verch

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