Kim Kardashian is now officially a sponsor for the plant-based meat company Beyond Meat in the first ever example of one giant pile of fake meat supporting another. Original photo credit for Beyond Meat Marco Verch, Kim Kardashian David Shankbone. Continue reading Beyond Meat Endorsed By Fellow Pile Of Fake Meat
Liz Cheney has been taking heat from fellow Republicans ever since she tweeted yesterday that “The 2020 presidential election was not stolen,” and that “Anyone who claims it was is spreading THE BIG LIE, turning their back on the rule … Continue reading Uncomfortable With Liberal Support, Liz Cheney Reassures Public She’s ‘Still A Horrible, Horrible Person’
While talking to reporters outside of the United States Capitol today, House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy told journalists that he would appreciate it if they would refer to members of the Republican party as ‘QAnon’ from here on out. “As … Continue reading Kevin McCarthy Announces Republican Party Has Officially Changed Its Name To ‘QAnon’
Facebook will make a controversial decision tomorrow: Will they reinstate former president Donald J. Trump, or permanently ban him from their platform? The social media giant initially banned Trump in January after he personally sparked a riot at the US … Continue reading Facebook Will Rule On Reinstatement Of Trump Tomorrow. Here’s How They’ll Decide
After having tried everything to roll back an unsupported update meant to start a “new phase” of their relationship, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced. “Unfortunately Melinda and I are unable to return to the previous version of our … Continue reading Bill Gates No Longer Compatible With Melinda After Update To Unsupported Version Of Relationship
Users of both Facebook and Instagram have reportedly been receiving a pop-up agreement with a cryptic message giving them the option to either share their worst secret, or be charged a fee to continue using the social media platforms. “To … Continue reading Facebook Threatens To Charge Users A Fee If They Don’t Share Their ‘Deepest, Darkest Secret’
During his second impeachment, Donald Trump’s lawyers revealed that they have “damning evidence” showing high-ranking Democrat leaders participating in an “underground fight club” in the basement of the Capitol building. “The Democrats are claiming that the violence at the Capitol … Continue reading Trump Lawyers Reveal Damning Images Of Democrats Participating In A ‘Fight Club’ On Capitol Grounds
Former richest man in the world Elon Musk was overtaken today by Reddit user dildo_swaggins69 after the amateur investor managed to turn investments in Gamestop, AMC, and Dogecoin into more than $277 billion over the course of a week. When … Continue reading Elon Musk Loses ‘Richest Person In The World’ Title To dildo_swaggins69
Sources are reporting that hundreds of fact checkers at news organizations around the world were abruptly let go from their jobs after White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki completed an entire briefing without lying once to the press. “With the … Continue reading Hundreds Of Fact Checkers Laid Off After New Press Secretary Fails To Lie In First Briefing
President Trump signed an executive order today that pardoned himself for “any and all crimes in the past, present, or future” – ensuring that even if he loses the election that he will still have absolute immunity for the rest … Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Pre-Pardoning Himself of Any Crimes
The band Smash Mouth is being blamed for more than 100 COVID-19 cases after they performed at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota on August 9th. Despite social distancing and mask wearing not being enforced at the event, truth … Continue reading False Flag: Media Claims 100+ People Willingly Attended a Smash Mouth Concert & Got COVID
The idiots have won again. Webster’s Dictionary has added the cringeworthy word ‘irregardless’ to their big book of real words, signaling the complete collapse of the American education system. “Words are officially added to the dictionary when they are used … Continue reading ‘Irregardless’ Added to Dictionary, Finalizing Collapse of American Education System
Satan has one more soul today after talented country music legend Charlie Daniels passed away in a Nashville hospital this morning from a stroke. God says that Daniels’ famous song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” was the main reason … Continue reading Charlie Daniels in Hell After Life of Encouraging Deals With the Devil
According to a recent Gallop poll, less than 1 in 3 employed Americans say they’re involved in, enthusiastic about, or committed to their work or workplace. What do you think? Continue reading A Record 69% of Americans Are Disengaged at Work
Well, it’s not what anyone expected, but it’s something. The Washington Redskins have announced that they will be keeping their original name, but changing their mascot to a red potato. “You’ll notice that the red potato has a red colored … Continue reading Washington Redskins Keep Their Original Name & Change Mascot to a Red Potato
The National Football League announced today that it will be playing three distinct audio files before each football game throughout the 2020 season. First, the black national anthem, second the Billy Bush-Access Hollywood tape in which president Trump says ‘Grab … Continue reading NFL Says It’s Going to Play Trump’s ‘Grab Her By the Pussy’ Tape Before Every Game
Unsure of exactly what Columbus Day is, or how or why people celebrate it, local man Tim Morris of Delafield, Wisconsin says he’ll be absolutely livid if lawmakers remove the holiday. “This doesn’t impact Tim or anyone I know at … Continue reading Man Who Has Never Celebrated Columbus Day Says He’ll Be Livid if It’s Cancelled
Chase Rice concert-goers were given the rare chance to be literal diehard fans over the weekend as the popular country singer decided to play a crowded show in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Seconds into the start of the … Continue reading Chase Rice Fans Reassured That Bleeding From the Ears is Not a Symptom of COVID-19
