President Biden was asked by reporters today what he plans to do about studies saying that ocean levels are going to rise as much as they normally would in 100 years in just 30 years. “We gotta stop it. Period!” … Continue reading Biden: Rising Sea Levels Could Be Prevented If We Stop Dumping Viagra In The Oceans
For one reason or another, here are four cities that we simply cannot wait to see completely underwater by 2030 (at the latest). 1 – Detroit, MI. We’d love to watch these downtrodden people finally be put out of their … Continue reading 4 Cities We Can’t Wait To See Completely Underwater By 2030
Billionaire Bill Gates is set to release a depressing new book next week titled ‘The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now’. Gates, who is typically known for his cautious optimism, says there’s no hope for humanity anymore. “If … Continue reading Bill Gates Says Everyone Must Eat Fake Meat By 2030 In New Book Titled ‘The Future Sucks: Why We Should Give Up Now’
Conservative Christian Michael Dobbins of San Diego, California says he made the conscious decision years ago not to care about any political issues that don’t impact him or his closest family members until he absolutely has to. Dobbins says that … Continue reading Conservative Waiting Until Bad Thing Impacts Him Before Caring About Issue
A large majority of humans on planet Earth say they have every intention of surviving the coronavirus to ensure that they get front row seats to the end of the world; which will be brought on by climate change sometime … Continue reading Humans Determined to Survive Coronavirus So They Can See Climate Change Decimate the Planet in 2035
Presidential candidate Joe Biden stated today at an Alabama rally that all of his easily-offended supporters need to stop saying that all Bernie Sanders supporters are internet trolls and bullies. “Bernie Sanders’ loudest and most controversial supporters represent less than … Continue reading Joe Biden Calls His Offended Base ‘Whiny Mooncalves’ For Complaining About Sanders Supporters
After being named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, conservatives everywhere are calling Greta Thunberg’s success the first known case of white privilege. The 16-year old Sweed with Asperger’s has been a leading voice in climate change activism. “This is … Continue reading Conservatives identify Greta Thunberg as first known case of white privilege
After mocking 16-year-old climate change activist Greta Thunberg, who has Asperger’s, president Donald Trump announced his new Be Bestest campaign that encourages belittling and name calling of kids ages zero to seventeen. “Why be best when you can be the … Continue reading Trump kicks off new ‘Be Bestest’ campaign celebrating the belittling of children
“Have they considered powering these windmills with coal?” Continue reading Texans Question Their Masculinity As State Begins Using More Wind Energy Than Coal
“If you can toss a plastic soda ring right around a turtle’s neck or ram a straw up their nose you win $100 in Uber ride credits.” Continue reading Uber’s New Submarine Service ‘ScUber’ Will Let Riders Drop Trash Directly on The Great Barrier Reef
“Who cares if you can’t wash the smell off, you’ve saved an orangutan!” Continue reading Greenpeace Tells Americans: “Wipe Your Butts With Your Hands”
Mr. Cox has locked Eric Trump in the White House’s cold storage room next to the bowling alley in an attempt to show that air pollution does not harm humans. Continue reading Eric Trump is Currently Locked in a Room That’s Being Pumped Full of Pollution
“You can expect your loved ones to land safely; with only minor amputations being necessary.” Continue reading More Than 6,000 Airplanes are Still Frozen Over US Airspace
“I’ve been calling it ‘Global Warming,’ but that’s just a trick folks; a term I use to make snowball jokes. My God, I’m so stupid.” Continue reading Trump Admits ‘The Polar Vortex is Caused by Climate Change’
We may never understand what a vegan is, or why fish qualifies as a meat, but we’ll never forget that if global warming is real, at least the vegans died first.” – DonaldTrump Continue reading Lettuce Recall Helps Millions of Vegans Cut Carbon Footprint by Dying of Starvation
