After having tried everything to roll back an unsupported update meant to start a “new phase” of their relationship, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced. “Unfortunately Melinda and I are unable to return to the previous version of our … Continue reading Bill Gates No Longer Compatible With Melinda After Update To Unsupported Version Of Relationship
Dawn Peterson of Grand Rapids, Michigan had to explain to her kids this morning why their dad was only getting a tie for Father’s Day for the 7th year in a row. “Daddy can have a nice gift when he … Continue reading Husband Can Have a Nice Father’s Day Gift ‘When He Starts Acting Like a Parent Too’
Melania Trump celebrated her 50th birthday today, bringing her one year closer to being released from the marriage contract she signed with husband Donald Trump in 2005. The First Lady, who inked a 20-year agreement with the president, is now … Continue reading Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract
Tropical Storm Karen was upgraded from an ‘Unreasonable Twat’ to a category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane this morning. Experts monitoring the storm say they expect to see Karen intensify into a devastating ‘She Took the Kids.’ … Continue reading Tropical Storm Karen upgraded to category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane
President Trump has raised security concerns after Sarah Palin was divorced by longtime husband Todd yesterday. “Todd took the house with the prefect view of Russia, and I’m assuming Moscow, ” Trump stated. “Sarah was our first line of defense … Continue reading Security concerns raised after newly divorced Sarah Palin can no longer see Russia from her house
On the same day that Larry King divorced his 7th wife, the new bachelor immediately signed the paperwork to marry and then divorce each of his three mistresses. King’s lawyer said that the TV host wanted “a fresh start and … Continue reading Larry King goes ahead and divorces 8th, 9th and 10th wife in one day
Republicans now agree that the President has committed an impeachable offense. Continue reading Trump Is Being Impeached For Tweeting About “The Greatest Blowjob Ever” From Sarah Sanders
“Overall, I’d give the movie 5-stars,” Kellner stated. Continue reading Local Man Uses Catheter So He Doesn’t Miss Any Part of Avengers: Endgame
Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.” Continue reading Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency
“This is Trump’s 4th fake marriage, but the first one that makes sense.” Continue reading Trump Marries Kellyanne Conway, Calls Her Ex-Husband a [Expletive]-Faced Monkey-[Expletive]
Melania’s emails have been released to the public in an act of transparency. Continue reading Melania Trump Had Secret Meeting With Divorce Lawyers Regarding Russian Adoptions
