Tropical Storm Karen was upgraded from an ‘Unreasonable Twat’ to a category ‘I Demand to Speak to the Manager’ hurricane this morning.

Experts monitoring the storm say they expect to see Karen intensify into a devastating ‘She Took the Kids.’ Early evacuations are being considered for parts of Florida on the chance that Karen worsens into a full-blown ‘Call the Cops on Black People for No Reason.’