Cocaine Drops Don Jr As Spokesperson For Drug

Cocaine Drops Don Jr. As Official Spokesperson For Drug

The manufacturer of cocaine released a brief statement today cutting ties with their now-former spokesperson Donald Trump Jr. “We stand for responsible use of cocaine. A bump here, a line there. You know, a rail every once in awhile,” the … Continue reading Cocaine Drops Don Jr. As Official Spokesperson For Drug

Trump I can stop whenever i want doubles down on recount

‘I Can Stop Anytime I Want!’ Shouts Trump While Using Last of His Money to Double Down on Recounts

A desperate, broke Donald Trump was overheard shouting “C’mon baby! Donny needs a new set of results!” as he rolled the dice again by sending yet another $3 million to Wisconsin to recount votes for a second time. “The president … Continue reading ‘I Can Stop Anytime I Want!’ Shouts Trump While Using Last of His Money to Double Down on Recounts

Obsessed: Trump enters bathrooms and repeatedly flushes toilets, even when he doesn't have to poop

Obsessed: Trump enters bathrooms and repeatedly flushes toilets, even when he doesn’t have to go

Yesterday, a ranting president Trump claimed on live TV that Americans are flushing their toilets “10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once,” adding that he’s having the EPA “look into it.” Today, the president’s senior advisor – and blackbelt … Continue reading Obsessed: Trump enters bathrooms and repeatedly flushes toilets, even when he doesn’t have to go

Congress will ban flavored condom sales as blowjob epidemic grows

Sucking on flavored condoms has made Mike Pence ill and killed at least six people after they choked on the prophylactics. In response, Congress is readying a ban on the tasty dick wrappers amid an unparalleled outbreak of safe oral … Continue reading Congress will ban flavored condom sales as blowjob epidemic grows

Michigan bans flavored alcohol and vape products as concerns over addiction in children grow

The state of Michigan passed sweeping legislation today banning the sale of flavored alcohol and vape products. The state claims that the flavors encourage smoking and drinking among minors. “There’s growing evidence that flavored products could have negative health impacts,” … Continue reading Michigan bans flavored alcohol and vape products as concerns over addiction in children grow