New York City Mayor Eric Adams told reporters today that the city will be allocating hundreds of millions of dollars to install retractable spikes on subway seats in order to get the homeless to leave the system and go out … Continue reading NYC To Spend Millions Installing Retractable Spikes On Subway Seats To ‘Poke The Homeless Away At Night’
Boosie Badazz has been completely obsessed with fellow rapper Lil Nas X ever since the young star gained fame with his hit songs ‘Old Town Road’ and ‘MONTERO,’ but last night Boosie took it a step too far. Lil Nas … Continue reading Boosie Served Restraining Order After Showing Up To Lil Nas X home With A Boombox
Members of Congress (except for Marjorie Taylor Greene) were given a ‘Marjorie Taylor Greene Tantrum Warning Signs & Prevention List’ today informing them of the indications that Greene is about to throw a tantrum and what they can to do … Continue reading Congress Was Given A ‘List Of Warning Signs’ For Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Tantrums, Here’s What It Says
A new anti-abortion bill is close to becoming law in Texas after it passed 83-64 in the House yesterday. Senate Bill 8 would allow doctors to halt the hearts of pregnant women while they check to see if the fetus … Continue reading Texas Law Would Allow Doctors To Stop Mother’s Heartbeat In Order To Listen For Fetus’
A Republican nightmare is unfolding as House Democrats passed a bill today that would require all US citizens to stand and salute the rainbow flag before every sporting event. The move comes just days after it became mandatory for US … Continue reading Equality Bill Would Force All Americans To Salute Rainbow Flag Before Sporting Events
House Republicans have agreed to a proposal by representative Matt Gaetz’s (R-FL) requiring that every committee meeting start by singing the National Anthem 3 times and then reciting the Pledge of Allegiance 10 times in a row. The move comes … Continue reading House Republicans To Recite 10 Pledge Of Allegiances & Sing 3 National Anthems Before Every Meeting
Proving that Taylor Swift fans will buy anything she puts out, the singer’s newest album – which is comprised of just her farting – went platinum in only 10 minutes. Titled ‘Squeak Now,’ Swift’s latest album features farting that lasts … Continue reading Taylor Swift’s New Album of Only Fart Noises Goes Platinum in Just 10 Minutes
Having successfully rigged the 2020 presidential election for Joe Biden, Democrats are just now realizing that they forgot to cheat in all of the House and Senate races that took place across the country. “Whoops! We fixed the election for … Continue reading Absent-Minded: Democrats Forget to Rig House & Senate Races
(Ann Arbor, MI) Dressed in black and under the cover of darkness, the neighbors of Chad and Karen Seymour opened their hearts and supply rooms to donate $1,000 worth of toilet paper directly to the couple’s front lawn, porch, trees, … Continue reading Michigan Town Surprises Struggling Neighbor With Free Toilet Paper
Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats announced today that they plan to push forward with the collection of evidence in an effort to lube up Republicans across the aisle and get them to impeach president Trump. “We want to give them … Continue reading Edging: Democrats plan to get Republicans very close to impeachment several times before finishing inside the Senate
Nancy Pelosi gave a briefing this morning explaining the remaining steps to impeaching president Donald Trump. “For those of you who aren’t clear, I wanted to lay out the next steps for the impeachment process,” a wide-eyed Pelosi stated. “Today … Continue reading Impeachment Explained: House Judiciary Committee holds a vote to vote on a vote for tomorrow’s impeachment vote after a preliminary vote today and Friday
Authorities have confirmed that Y’all-Qaeda leadership has ties to a Mississippi terror cell referred to as Talabangelicals who are also complete [expletive].
Continue reading Radical Religious Group “Y’all-Qaeda” Bans Abortion in Alabama
Cohen poured 14 gallons of gasoline, began playing ‘Spark the Fire’ by Gwen Stefani, and lit the contents of the dumpster before biting the heads off several chickens. Continue reading Steve Cohen Sparks Massive Dumpster Fire on House Floor, Bites Heads Off of Live Chickens
“If you’re banned you’ll be relocated to a garbage island off the coast of New Jersey.” – Nancy Pelosi Continue reading Breaking: Extremism Ban Passes US House & Senate
