Unsure of exactly what Columbus Day is, or how or why people celebrate it, local man Tim Morris of Delafield, Wisconsin says he’ll be absolutely livid if lawmakers remove the holiday. “This doesn’t impact Tim or anyone I know at … Continue reading Man Who Has Never Celebrated Columbus Day Says He’ll Be Livid if It’s Cancelled
A group of over 200 immunology experts from around the world released a letter today begging Americans to “keep a safe distance of at least six channels from Fox News.” The letter listed several reasons for for the warning. “Fox … Continue reading Medical Experts Recommend Staying at Least 6 Channels Away From Fox News
An in-depth study by the University of California-Berkeley revealed today that the number of Americans who drown in a swimming pool last year far surpassed the amount of people who have ever received any helpful advice from Dr. Phil. “In … Continue reading Study: More Americans Drown in Swimming Pools Last Year Than Have Ever Received Useful Advice From Dr. Phil
A tweaked-out Laura Ingraham ended her show on FOX News last night by smoking copious amounts of methamphetamines at her desk. She then wandered off set and came zooming back with a cold steak, plastic straws, and lightbulbs from the … Continue reading Laura Ingraham does meth on live TV, then tries to conduct electricity using a steak
At a morning press conference at Camp David, President Trump managed to stun reporters when he said 10 words in a row that all worked to form both a complete thought and a grammatically correct sentence. The rare moment of … Continue reading Feeling cocky, President Trump strings together 10 words to form a complete, coherent sentence
“None of them seemed phased by Carlson. It was like the [expletive] Twilight Zone.”
Continue reading Tucker Carlson Forgets to Remove Klan Robe, Walks On to Set of Fox & Friends
“Steve and Tim will hold hands, and sometimes even kiss,” laughed Earhardt. Continue reading Fox & Friends’ Steve Doocy Pretends to be Gay for 50th Straight April Fools Day
“I hate to say this folks, but it’s to the point where we may have to make something up.” Continue reading FOX News Anxiously Awaits Another Tragedy
***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a … Continue reading Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign
There have been several unconfirmed reports of an orange-ish figure in a black, flowing cloak wandering in Manhattan, New York. The specter appears to be targeting Fox News host Megyn Kelly by leaving a wide variety of arguably sex… Continue reading Reports of Orange-ish Figure in Manhattan Surface
it certainly appears that Presidential hopeful Donald Trump outperformed the rest of the potential candidates on Thursday night’s FOX News sponsored Republican debate. Indeed, the real… Continue reading Donald Trump Wins First Republican Debate by a Landslide
In a shocking turn of events, it seems that people are gearing up for the Fourth of July by doing the exact same type of shit that they did last year. The grills are out, the beer is somewhat cold, … Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: 4th of July Stunner
After announcing his bid for Presidency, Jeb Bush tried to distance himself from brother George W. Bush. When asked by a reporter if his family name and relation to former President George W. Bush would hinder his chances, Jeb tactfully deflected the question in true-leader-fashion by Continue reading FOX News Embraces Jeb Bush as He Distances Self From Brother
…A move which undoubtedly does not allow Christians to express their personally-held convictions that they are entitled to under an Amendment.
Talk show radio host Rush Limbaugh, upon hearing about the gay, atheist-owned bakery in Bloomington from a caller decided to reveal just how unfair the “Godless, liberals in this country have become.” He issued this challenge to his listeners in the Greater Bloomington area… Continue reading Gay, Atheist-Owned Bakery Indifferent About What Cakes They Make
