Elizabeth Warren Says She Keeps a Beer Keg as a Pet in Her Massachusetts Home

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Warren says the two are inseparable.

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Elizabeth Warren Drinks Six Beers, Then Drunkenly Proposes a Warren-Sanders Presidential Ticket on Live TV

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“I saw the whole thing. Very odd, very sad.” – Senator Bernie Sanders

Democrats Will Play Cards Against Humanity On Live TV Instead of Debating

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“The hardest part for candidates will be trying not to laugh at the very things they claim to find offensive.”

Elizabeth Warren Becomes Spokeswoman for New Lesbian Dating App Mufflr

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According to their website, Mufflr is being funded by powerful lesbians Ellen Degeneres and Hillary Clinton.

Elizabeth Warren Recommends Changing Your Dreamcatcher Filter Every Spring

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“My dreams became littered with terrifying sex monsters that attacked my lesbian lover Barb.” – Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth Warren Says She’ll Divorce Her Husband and Marry a Woman to Win the Presidency

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Elizabeth Warren announced today at a campaign rally that she is “ready and willing” to divorce her husband of 39 years and marry her “lifelong best friend Barb.”

Down-to-Earth Elizabeth Warren Hits Rick and Morty Bong on Instagram Livestream

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The Senator began the livestream by saying “Hold on a sec, I’m going to go grab my bong,” before exiting the shot and flipping on ‘Kaya’ by Bob Marley.