Leaked documents from Facebook headquarters reveal that the corporation will be officially changing its name to “Company” next Thursday. Many people are pointing out that the name change will make it nearly impossible to search for news about the company … Continue reading Facebook To Change Their Name To ‘Company’ – Making It Hard To Google Bad News About Them
Comedian Dave Chappelle is attempting to legitimize his new Netflix comedy special that focused almost entirely on disparaging transgender individuals. Chappelle gave a brief statement today. “Some minority groups haven’t suffered enough for me,” Chappelle grinned while taking a puff … Continue reading Trans People Not Oppressed Enough To Be Left Alone By Dave Chappelle
NASA announced today that it will be launching Texas Senator Ted Cruz into space next month in an attempt to redirect an asteroid that will pass nearby Earth. Scientists say Cruz’s body will not be put inside a capsule, but … Continue reading NASA To Launch Ted Cruz 15,000 MPH Into Asteroid To Test Defenses
The long-running, popular American TV game show Wheel of Fortune has updated its iconic wheel by replacing the ‘Bankruptcy’ slot with ‘DEATH.’ Due to the changes, players will now have a 1 in 24 chance of being executed by host … Continue reading Wheel Of Fortune Adds ‘Death Slot’ After Seeing Success Of Squid Game
A leaked memo from the office of Senator Ted Cruz has revealed that the Republican Party leaders don’t actually believe in much of what they say or do. When reached for comment, Cruz had some shocking things to say. “Let … Continue reading Republicans Continue To Expertly Troll Democrats By Purposely Being Wrong About Everything
Facebook announced today that the company will be halting its creation of the new ‘Instagram Kids’ platform after discovering that Florida representative Matt Gaetz – who is under investigation for sex trafficking and sex with a minor – had somehow … Continue reading ‘Instagram Kids’ Cancelled After Matt Gaetz Obtains Beta Testing Profile
There are several simple ways to encourage anti-vaxxers to finally take the shot and help us get out of this pandemic. Slideshow: Main photo credit: Marco Verch Continue reading 9 Easy Ways To Convince Anti-Vaxxers To Get ‘The Jab’
Popular podcast host Joe Rogan told fans Wednesday that he has tested positive for COVID. Rogan made the announcement in an online video after he came home from doing shows in Florida; a state overrun by the virus. Rogan confirmed … Continue reading Joe Rogan Takes Ivermectin, Records First Podcast Where He Spews Bullshit Out Of Both Ends
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill into law that prevents abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy – much sooner than most women even know that they are pregnant. That law went into effect today. Under the law, … Continue reading Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
Pope Francis gave a short speech today in which he expressed a deep concern over the fact that the image of Jesus has not appeared on any snacks or breakfast foods for a very, very long time. The Pope says … Continue reading Pope ‘Deeply Concerned’ As Image Of Jesus Hasn’t Appeared On Waffles, Chips, Fries Or Toast In A Very Long Time
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ approval rating hit an all time low today as more and more of his followers continued to die off. In response to the latest numbers, DeSantis plans to host a town hall with his supporters to … Continue reading FL Gov. To Host Huge Event To Figure Out Why His Supporters Keep Dying
Fast food restaurants are fully-staffed once again after popular porn site Only Fans announced today that it will no longer be allowing sexual content on their platform. Here’s what people are saying: McDonald’s photo credit Paul Sableman Continue reading Fast Food Restaurants Back To Being Fully-Staffed After Only Fans Bans Sexual Content
(Knoxville, TN) Local man Brian McMillan, who is an anti-science, anti-mask, anti-pope, anti-vaxxer has found himself so against everything that he’s now stuck saying no to everyone no matter what. McMillan says the new affliction has caused him to regret … Continue reading Anti-Science Anti-Mask Anti-Pope Anti-Vaxxer Just Saying ‘No’ To Everything At This Point
The 2020 US Census came out today and it shows a decline in the white population for the first time since 1790. In response to the census news, Oprah Winfrey is reportedly celebrating with a huge party. Notably, Oprah had … Continue reading Oprah Throws Party To Celebrate 2020 census Showing Decline In White Population
The NFL announced that it will be taking a more firm stance against taunting this season, including trash talking and making certain gestures toward opposing players. In addition to the tightening of the rule, the league will also continue to … Continue reading NFL’S Ban On Taunting Leaves Fans Unsure How To Teach Kids To Mock & Jeer At Others
Climate and infectious disease experts released a study today saying that in order to completely eradicate COVID-19 from the country that the government could simply burn all 2.27 billion acres of land that makes up the United States of America. Scientists … Continue reading Experts Say Letting U.S. Be Engulfed In Flames Would End COVID Across Country
