News broke today that the gopher from Caddyshack – now turned Federal agent – overheard three residents from The Villages admit to committing voter fraud in the 2020 election. The gopher was sent to secretly monitor the community using a … Continue reading ‘Caddyshack’ Gopher Catches Trump Supporters Who Voted Multiple Times In 2020
Boosie Badazz has been completely obsessed with fellow rapper Lil Nas X ever since the young star gained fame with his hit songs ‘Old Town Road’ and ‘MONTERO,’ but last night Boosie took it a step too far. Lil Nas … Continue reading Boosie Served Restraining Order After Showing Up To Lil Nas X home With A Boombox
BROOKSVILLE, FLORIDA – Dog owner, and mother of two, Sharon Braun took matters into her own hands this Fourth of July when she attempted to shoot fireworks out of the sky with a rifle “before they could explode.” Braun says … Continue reading Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Fireworks Out Of The Sky ‘So They Don’t Explode & Scare Dogs’
Authorities confirmed today that Marjorie Taylor Greene – an armed, hostile and mentally unstable woman that has been terrorizing congressional colleagues – is actually an escaped psych ward patient named Karen Lynn McConnell. Reportedly the estranged sister of Senator Mitch … Continue reading Missing Psych Ward Patient Found After Spending Month As Congresswoman
After public outcry over unidentifiable federal agents snagging protesters from their unmarked vans, Attorney General William Barr says that the agents will now be much, much easier for protesters to spot. “Those involved in Operation Legend will now be wearing … Continue reading ‘Operation Legend’ Agents Now Have Brown Shirts, Red Armbands & a Special Salute
Sporting vibrant red lipstick and holding up signs offering free kisses, countless protesters in Huntington Beach, California and Springfield, Illinois completely ignored government social distancing rules over the weekend by gathering together and passionately planting kisses on one another. “This … Continue reading Protesters Set Up ‘COVID Kissing Booths’ in the Face of Government Warnings
Trump said that the new complex would be “an experiment representing a new approach for overhauling the prison system and has nothing to do with Michael Cohen’s testimony.” Continue reading Trump is Building a ‘Golden, Mansion-Style Prison’
“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.” Continue reading Patriots Owner Caught in Massive Cheese-Fetish Pornography Ring
“I’d be fine if Americans just recited half of the Pledge of Allegiance and then carried on with school or whatever.” – Trump Continue reading Trump: “Let’s All Just Say Half of the Pledge and Call It a Day”
“Overall, we just want to make everyone feel more welcome and safe at Starbucks.” Continue reading Starbucks is Opening Separate Restrooms for Black Customers
