“Donald J. Trump is up for Best Performance in a Comedy Series that lasts for one term or less.”
The president cut his speech short and shuffled sideways offstage.
“An investigation will show Melania’s knockers were implanted by the Russians to spy on our great nation.”
Trump is revealing the meaning of ‘covfefe’ and people couldn’t be more excited.
“It’s Adam and Summer’s Eve, not Ben and Jerry; although, some Victoria’s Secret and Lane Bryant experimentation sounds intriguing,” Trump tweeted.
Grisham is scheduled to take a crowbar to the face later today in an attempt to make her eye situation match that of Sanders.
Get rid of your twenty dollar bills before it’s too late! The U.S. Treasury Department says it will be taking the value of a $20 bill down to zero.