“I permanently cut cheese out of my diet,” police officer Damien Stephens stated. “If you’ve never seen a ‘Kraft Singles Cheese Queef Shower,’ I recommend that you keep it that way.”
The Senator began the livestream by saying “Hold on a sec, I’m going to go grab my bong,” before exiting the shot and flipping on ‘Kaya’ by Bob Marley.
Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.”
“We estimate that he was out cold with water in his lungs for about 2 minutes.”
In a recent video released by the terrorist group ISIS, leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi made a heartfelt, and seemingly confused, yet angry call for action. The terror leader – who was clearly distraught – pretty much yelled at other Muslims, while breaking down and having (for lack of better words) a hissy fit. Here is the transcript: “If all Muslims are terrorists, then there’s a whole lot of lazy Muslims! Look, it’s really not that hard,” uttered al-Baghdadi, “you just make explosives, strap them to yourself, and then go out and detonate around the innocent people. I mean, WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE NOT GETTING!?” ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi concluded, “Look. It’s really not that hard to just believe what you are told – and then just kill everyone. C’mon people!!! The Christians did it before!!!” Check out more stories below – or like our facebook page. It’s like… really fucking important.
“…I’m not happy and I will try to get to the bottom of this and use every legal option possible,” stated Loesch.”