Elon Musk’s Test Monkeys That Didn’t Die From Brain Implant Clearly Plotting Revenge

Recent reports claim that billionaire Elon Musk’s company Neuralink may have killed up to 15 test monkeys by implanting computer chips into their brains. Now, researchers and Musk are saying that the remaining monkeys are clearly plotting revenge. “Every single … Continue reading Elon Musk’s Test Monkeys That Didn’t Die From Brain Implant Clearly Plotting Revenge

Aging Joe Exotic To Be Put Down & Buried Behind Jail To Make Room For Younger, Healthier Inmates

Jailed business man and entertainer Joe Exotic of “Tiger King” fame is set to be executed and buried behind the jail he has been incarcerated in next week. The decision to kill him was issued by a federal judge during … Continue reading Aging Joe Exotic To Be Put Down & Buried Behind Jail To Make Room For Younger, Healthier Inmates

Future Murderer Torn Between Becoming a Serial Killer or a Police Officer

Confident that he’d like to murder at least one person, 17-year-old Thomas Wilkins of Genesee, Wisconsin says he’s torn between becoming a serial killer or a police officer. “Next year I’ll be 18, which means I’ll be old enough to … Continue reading Future Murderer Torn Between Becoming a Serial Killer or a Police Officer

Mike Pence revokes pardon for two male turkeys after learning they overnighted at the luxe Willard Intercontinental Hotel

Mike Pence revokes pardons after learning two male turkeys overnighted at the luxe Willard Intercontinental Hotel

Vice President Mike Pence had president Trump revoke the pardons for two male turkeys that were set free yesterday after learning they’d stayed together in a room at the luxe Willard Intercontinental Hotel the previous night. The reversal marks the … Continue reading Mike Pence revokes pardons after learning two male turkeys overnighted at the luxe Willard Intercontinental Hotel

Unworthy, Trump burns hand on Medal of Honor while placing award on military dog

President Donald Trump was severely burned today when he accidentally touched the Medal of Honor with his unworthy hands. Trump was awarding the medal to Conan – the dog injured in Syria during the killing of ISIS leader Abu Baker … Continue reading Unworthy, Trump burns hand on Medal of Honor while placing award on military dog

Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign

***BREAKING*** (Washington D.C.) The Republican National Committee is openly taking responsibility for the death of front runner presidential candidate Donald Trump. Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, immediately spoke out about the decision to kill the candidate. “We feel a … Continue reading Tragic Death Ends Trump Campaign