English broadcaster and natural historian Sir David Attenborough has a new biopic coming out next year and he’s not pulling any punches. Reportedly, Attenborough was overheard today talking about how he had just finished filming birthday sex for the documentary. … Continue reading Sir David Attenborough Films Own Birthday Sex & Adds Narration For Upcoming Biopic
(Brookfield, WI) Local man Jeremy Walowitz says his first date with Amy Patel is going so well that he just might be getting an elbow job. “You have to be extra careful when dating during the coronavirus outbreak,” Walowitz stated. … Continue reading Date Going So Well, Man Just Might Get an Elbow Job
Countless firearm fanatics are boycotting Walmart after the company ended some of its ammunition sales and banned customers from walking around the stores with their dicks out guns. Meanwhile, Arby’s hasn’t changed how they’ve been selling ammunition since they opened … Continue reading Boycotting Walmart? Take your sister to Arby’s for your next date instead
“The hardest part for candidates will be trying not to laugh at the very things they claim to find offensive.” Continue reading Democrats Will Play Cards Against Humanity On Live TV Instead of Debating
“What better way to show that the United States is a Christian nation than by celebrating Jesus’ crucifixion on America’s birthday!?” – President Donald J. Trump Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order Moving Christmas to the 4th of July
“We totally nixed three scenes where Dwayne Johnson would’ve been firing his gun at a bunch of hippos for absolutely no reason.” Continue reading Disney’s Jungle Cruise Movie is Finally PC Enough to Film After 13 Years of Rewrites
“Gates oozes with a sultry sex appeal that culminates in a passionate, 12-minute lovemaking scene with the masked hero Batman who is played by Apple CEO Tim Cook.” Continue reading Bill Gates Stars as Catwoman in Highly-Anticipated Film
Being unable to spell is no longer considered a ‘dealbreaker’ among most Americans. Continue reading Can’t Spell? No Problem: Dating App Users Are Attracted to Partners Who Can’t Spell
