Of the nearly 20.4 million US veterans in the United States, the Trump Administration managed to coax just under 700 of them on Craigslist to sign an open letter in support of the president. The letter comes just after it … Continue reading 0.0034% of US Veterans Sign Open Letter Supporting Trump
Merriam-Webster made a controversial move today when they announced that they had added yet another definition for the word ‘trumpery’ to the dictionary. The company explained their decision in a press release. “We believed it to be appropriate for current … Continue reading Webster’s Adds Vulgar Definition for ‘Trumpery’ to Dictionary
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was caught on back to back days having businesses in San Francisco illegally style and remove hair from both her head and her anus. Pelosi says that she was tricked into receiving both services … Continue reading Backdoor Business: Nancy Pelosi Caught Getting Anus Waxed Day After Blowout
Nintendo was taking heat this morning from the far right after it was revealed that the company’s wildly popular game Animal Crossing: New Horizons would now include yard signs showing support for presidential candidate Joe Biden. Many on the right … Continue reading After Adding Biden Signs, Animal Crossing Now Offers White Hoods & Tiki Torches to Appease Far Right Players
During an interview on Fox News, president Trump told Laura Ingraham that the police officer who shot Jacob Blake seven times in the back had “choked” much like “missing a three foot putt.” But the strange answer didn’t stop there. … Continue reading Full Trump-Ingraham Clip Shows President Kept On Comparing the Jacob Blake Shooting to Golf
President Trump took questions regarding Kenosha shooter Kyle Rittenhouse from the press today while in Lake Charles, Louisiana as he was assessing the damage from Category 4 Hurricane Laura. Many are calling what the president said absurd, while others say … Continue reading Trump Says Kyle Rittenhouse’s Only Error Was Not Becoming a Cop First
Activating his fight-or-flight self-defense mechanism, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul completely melted into the pavement last night while being confronted by protesters after the Republican National Convention. As a small crowd began to gather around Paul and grow more vocal, the … Continue reading Rand Paul Escapes Protesters By Melting Into a Puddle
The band Smash Mouth is being blamed for more than 100 COVID-19 cases after they performed at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota on August 9th. Despite social distancing and mask wearing not being enforced at the event, truth … Continue reading False Flag: Media Claims 100+ People Willingly Attended a Smash Mouth Concert & Got COVID
The NBA playoffs were postponed Wednesday as many players were calling to end the season while demanding justice for Jacob Blake – yet another Black man who was wrongfully shot by the police. Players let NBA leadership know that they … Continue reading Jared Kushner on NBA: ‘This is What We Get for Paying the Blacks So Well’
Hours before Category 4 Hurricane Laura was expected to make landfall, president Trump was asked by FEMA for more disaster relief funds. Having explained to the president the predicted devastation from the powerful storm, FEMA leaders said they were bewildered … Continue reading Trump Asks If Louisiana Is Part Of US Before Taking Away FEMA Funding
An all-new epidemic has hit social media during COVID-19 and it’s dumber, yet somehow more complicated than baking and eating an entire loaf of sourdough bread. Presenting the charcuterie board! Charcuterie boards are glorified Lunchables for adults. They’re stupid planks … Continue reading Hot COVID Trends: Taking Pictures of Scraps of Food On a Wooden Plank
Republicans across the United States are excited to spend the next four nights cackling maniacally along with six Trumps and a handful of other speakers as they lay out their diabolical plans for the continued destruction of the country at … Continue reading Conservatives Looking Forward to Cackling Maniacally At Their TV Sets During the RNC
Looking to completely redo his image, Donald Trump has grown a unique mustache in which the hair is only in the middle portion of his upper lip, and approximately the width of his nose. In addition to this, he’s had … Continue reading Trump Sports New Hairstyle, Grows Trendsetting Mustache For RNC
Hurricanes Laura and Marco multiplied into eight storms today after the Trump administration detonated nuclear weapons inside of the two weather systems in hopes of destroying them. Meteorologists say that people in the path of the hurricanes should prepare themselves … Continue reading Double Hurricane Becomes Eight Radioactive Storms After US Nukes Weather Systems
It’s no secret that the United States Postal Service is hurting for money when they need it the most. With the Trump administration in strong opposition to additional funding, the USPS has taken it upon themselves to raise money by … Continue reading USPS Begins Selling New Book of Anti-Trump Stamps to Bring in More Revenue
When asked if there was a plan in place if Donald Trump refuses to leave the White House after losing the November election, Washington D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser said that the city was already prepared for such a scenario. “Unfortunately, … Continue reading DC Prepared to Shut Off Utilities If Trump Refuses to Leave White House
A new study by the University of Oxford shows that oleandrin, a deadly poison extract from the oleander plant, is just as effective at curing COVID-19 as smothering someone to death with a MyPillow®. The news comes just days after … Continue reading Study Shows Oleandrin Cures COVID Just as Effectively as Smothering Someone to Death with a MyPillow®
With misinformation running rampant across the US, a new ‘COVID-19 For Dummies’ book series created to spread truth has taken over the New York Times Best-Sellers list just two days after they hit the shelves. Notably, the books are said … Continue reading New ‘For Dummies’ COVID Book Series Takes Over NY Times Best-Sellers List
