Trump: “Let’s All Just Say Half of the Pledge and Call It a Day”

YouReadyGrandma

“I’d be fine if Americans just recited half of the Pledge of Allegiance and then carried on with school or whatever.” – Trump

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Virginia Politician: “What if We Only Painted Our Genitals?”

YouReadyGrandma

“The letter went on in vivid detail describing the painting process, preferred makeup brands, how to wash mascara out of your underwear, and more.”

Democrats Will be Testing Trump’s Grasp of Object Permanence Tonight by Bringing Real People to The State of The Union Address

YouReadyGrandma

“Now, when I place Sajid in a crouching position behind me I’ll look for a confused expression on the president’s face. Soon thereafter – and here’s where it gets interesting – Sajid will pop out from behind me and…”

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes Gave His MVP Trophy to a Nearby Native American Tribe

YouReadyGrandma

“If this will lift the curse from constructing Arrowhead Stadium on an Indian burial ground, then we’re willing to let it slide.” – Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt

Nationwide Removal of All Confederate Statues Begins as Participation Trophies are Sent to Grieving Southerners

YouReadyGrandma

Trump is trying to rectify the situation by sending Civil War participation trophies to his seething supporters.

South Carolina Gov. Will Fart National Anthem at Super Bowl

YouReadyGrandma

South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster announced today that he will be performing the national anthem before the Super Bowl utilizing only his anus. Known for being outspoken – having demanded that everyone stand for the national anthem – McMaster says he’s been practicing for years and can ‘hit every note, low and high.’ In response to public outcry McMaster said that farting the national anthem is simply an expression of his First Amendment rights. (Article continues below image) “I firmly believe we can all stand and respect the flag during the national anthem – no matter where you come from, where the sound is coming from, or what that may smell like,” McMaster Return Home Take me to the MEMES!

Donald Trump: ‘Why Don’t We Have a White Friday!?’

The tweet was accompanied by the hashtags #WhiteLivesMatter and #Disgraceful.

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