During an evening address at the Vatican, Pope Francis made remarks on the coronavirus and the state of the world that included harsh words for US president Donald Trump and his supporters. “Truly I tell you, there is a reason … Continue reading Pope Francis Calls Trump Supporters ‘Evil at Worst, Stupid at Best’
President Trump accidentally voided his bowels during a campaign rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma today. The violent episode of explosive diarrhea occurred during a part of his speech about loyalty to the country in which Trump also spoke out against Democratic … Continue reading Trump Poops His Pants at Tulsa Rally
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today that they will be detaining and quarantining all Trump rally-goers in Tulsa, Oklahoma immediately after the president finishes his speech. People in the building will have no choice in the matter … Continue reading CDC to Quarantine Tulsa Rally-Goers Immediately After Trump Finishes His Speech
A Politico-Morning Consult poll released today found that 27% of Americans somewhat or strongly believe that president Trump is a man of faith. Meanwhile 55% of respondents say they somewhat or strongly believe that Trump is not a religious man. … Continue reading Poll: Only 27% of Americans Believe Trump is a Man of Faith
A section of South Ocean Boulevard in Palm Beach, Florida – the road that lead’s to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago – was renamed ‘Racist’s Way’ today by local Mayor Gail Coniglio. Coniglio says the renaming serves as both a rebuke of the … Continue reading Mayor Renames Road Leading to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago ‘Racist’s Way’
Joe Biden issued a stunning correction today after claiming that “10 to 15% of Americans are not very good people.” Rather than try to smooth things over, Biden doubled down. “I am deeply sorry if I have offended anyone with … Continue reading Biden Doubles Down, Says ‘40% of Americans Are Rinky Dinky Chicken Shits’
A 73-year-old former frozen steak salesman is having a surprisingly hard time running an entire country despite having been a reality TV host. What do you think? Continue reading Failed Frozen Steak Salesman Turned Reality TV Host Somehow Not Good at Leading a Nation
With an early version of the president’s latest executive order having been shown to the press, reporters are now saying that Donald Trump plans to create “government watch lists” based on how users interact and behave on social media. Trump … Continue reading Breaking: New Trump Rules on Social Media Could Land You on a Government Watch List
After a morning interview in which former Vice President Joe Biden told black Americans “you ain’t black” if you are voting for Trump, president Trump fired back with two tweets, drawing a sharp contrast between the two candidates. Continue reading ‘If You Like Your Skin Color, You Can Keep It’ Trump Reassures Black Supporters
Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer announced this afternoon that president Donald Trump has been banned from her state. The announcement comes hours after Trump broke state law by not wearing a face mask during his visit to a Michigan Ford plant … Continue reading Michigan Bans Trump, Revokes ‘Man of The Year’ Award
The White House filed a lawsuit today against Barack Obama which alleges that the former president has been living rent-free in Donald Trump’s head since November of 2008. Evidence admitted with the lawsuit to support the legal claim include a … Continue reading Lawsuit Filed Against Obama Accuses Former President of Living Rent-Free in Trump’s Head
God is facing criticism from Trump and his supporters after the president issued an angry, ranting, hour-long address on the National Day of Prayer that repeatedly trashed the deity for allowing the Coronavirus to get out of control. “Dear big … Continue reading Furious Trump Unloads On God for ‘Allowing Coronavirus to Get Out of Control’
With more than 30 million people having filed for unemployment since mid-March, and countless more Americans having a hard time making ends meet, president Trump told reporters today that those in need of assistance should simply ask their dad for … Continue reading Trump Says Americans Should ‘Just Ask Their Dad’ For Rent Money
A recent study by Princeton University comparing George W. Bush and Donald J. Trump to former, non-drug-addicted presidents definitively shows that the United States would have been better off electing someone who was sober and less racist. “We found that … Continue reading Study Shows Country Would Be Better Off Run by Someone Who is Sober, Less Racist
Melania Trump celebrated her 50th birthday today, bringing her one year closer to being released from the marriage contract she signed with husband Donald Trump in 2005. The First Lady, who inked a 20-year agreement with the president, is now … Continue reading Melania Trump One Year Closer to Aging Out of Marriage Contract
In the wake of Donald Trump suggesting that we inject people with disinfectants to kill the coronavirus during his daily address, scientists have gone ahead and preemptively issued a warning against turning your oven on and then sticking your head … Continue reading Scientists Preemptively Warn Against Sticking Your Head in the Oven
In an odd turn of events, Donald Trump proudly revealed today that he had taken an IQ test and somehow managed to get a negative score. True to form, the president was quick to brag to reporters that he “had … Continue reading Trump’s IQ Test Comes Back Negative
During his daily briefing with the press today, president Trump announced he had signed an executive order allowing the government to completely demolish nearly 8,000 Curves locations across the US. The president claims the move is the “next logical step” … Continue reading Trump Signs Executive Order to Flatten Curves Fitness Locations
