Man At Airport Security Has Sudden, Unfounded Fear That He May Have Hid Drugs Up His Butt

Frequent traveler and businessman Kenneth Hildman of Dallas, Texas says he is close to having a complete breakdown while he waits in line at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport security. Despite never committing a crime in his life, Hildman thinks that he may have stuffed drugs up his butt.

“I don’t remember doing it, but I wouldn’t put it past me,” Hildman laughed nervously. “Plus I have a bad memory, so it’s possible that there could be a pound of coke up there and I’d never know.”

As of press time Hildman had made it through security without a problem and was debating whether or not he’d ever get stoned before flying again.

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