Frequent traveler and businessman Kenneth Hildman of Dallas, Texas says he is close to having a complete breakdown while he waits in line at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport security. Despite never committing a crime in his life, Hildman thinks that he may have stuffed drugs up his butt.

“I don’t remember doing it, but I wouldn’t put it past me,” Hildman laughed nervously. “Plus I have a bad memory, so it’s possible that there could be a pound of coke up there and I’d never know.”

As of press time Hildman had made it through security without a problem and was debating whether or not he’d ever get stoned before flying again.