Tag: pregnant
FL Court Says 16-Year-Old ‘Too Immature’ To Have Abortion, But Old Enough To Date Matt Gaetz
A 16-Year-Old who is in the care of Florida child welfare authorities has been told that she “lacks the maturity” to have an abortion, but that she is “old enough” to date US House representative Matt Gaetz. The ruling was … Continue reading FL Court Says 16-Year-Old ‘Too Immature’ To Have Abortion, But Old Enough To Date Matt Gaetz
Spike In Michigan Football Players Having Unprotected Sex & STDs After Coach Says He’ll Raise Any Unwanted Babies
Reports are pouring in that University of Michigan football players are almost exclusively having unprotected sex ever since head coach Jim Harbaugh announced that he would gladly raise any of their unwanted babies. According to some players, Harbaugh was absolutely … Continue reading Spike In Michigan Football Players Having Unprotected Sex & STDs After Coach Says He’ll Raise Any Unwanted Babies
Elon Musk: ‘I Will Colonize Mars, But Only With Thousands Of My Own Offspring’
Billionaire Elon Musk told reporters today that, not only does he already have “at least 370 kids,” but that he also plans on having thousands more in order to colonize mars. The news comes after it was revealed that the … Continue reading Elon Musk: ‘I Will Colonize Mars, But Only With Thousands Of My Own Offspring’
Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed a bill into law that prevents abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy – much sooner than most women even know that they are pregnant. That law went into effect today. Under the law, … Continue reading Texans Leave Hundreds Of Unwanted Babies On Governor Abbott’s Front Porch
Kanye West Was Selling Damaged Condoms at Coachella for $125
“Someone from that festival will be having an unwanted child that babbles bullshit for years; so when that happens, I highly recommend they name it Kanye.” Continue reading Kanye West Was Selling Damaged Condoms at Coachella for $125
Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.” Continue reading Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March