Proving that Taylor Swift fans will buy anything she puts out, the singer’s newest album – which is comprised of just her farting – went platinum in only 10 minutes. Titled ‘Squeak Now,’ Swift’s latest album features farting that lasts … Continue reading Taylor Swift’s New Album of Only Fart Noises Goes Platinum in Just 10 Minutes
Merriam-Webster made a controversial move today when they announced that they had added yet another definition for the word ‘trumpery’ to the dictionary. The company explained their decision in a press release. “We believed it to be appropriate for current … Continue reading Webster’s Adds Vulgar Definition for ‘Trumpery’ to Dictionary
A German Shepherd named Max who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan is refusing to accept the Medal of Honor until the United States elects a new president. “I would rather be shaved bald and forced to take a bath … Continue reading Heroic Dog Refuses to Accept Medal of Honor Until Country Elects a Real Leader
The Washington Redskins announced today that they’ve finally found a more fitting name for their organization after it was revealed that at least 15 women have reported instances of sexual harassment, including unwanted touching. The franchise says that after much … Continue reading Redskins Change Name to Washington Gropers
Well, it’s not what anyone expected, but it’s something. The Washington Redskins have announced that they will be keeping their original name, but changing their mascot to a red potato. “You’ll notice that the red potato has a red colored … Continue reading Washington Redskins Keep Their Original Name & Change Mascot to a Red Potato
It’s here! McDonald’s has announced their all-new McKaren sandwich. The fast food chain says the new food option is guaranteed to be ready in 30 seconds or less, in store, or it’s free. “As a tribute to all Karens, the … Continue reading McDonald’s Announces the All-New McKaren Sandwich
A handful of NASCAR drivers led by Ray Ciccarelli have announced that they plan to start a new stock car racing league. Ciccarelli says the move is a direct rebuke of NASCAR’s ban on the Confederate flag from all official … Continue reading Drivers Start New Racing Association After NASCAR’s Confederate Flag Ban
After the artists who created the Philadelphia Phanatic mascot asked to be compensated for their work, the Philadelphia Phillies went ahead and modified the character to avoid making a payout. The team says that other than adding a two-foot cock, … Continue reading Phillies Add Giant Cock to Phanatic to Avoid Copyright Infringement
After Republicans blocked witnesses and evidence in the Democrat’s first attempt at impeaching the president, Nancy Pelosi now says they will have to go ahead and impeach Donald Trump for a second time in order to tell the public the … Continue reading Buckle the Hell Up: Democrats Prepare to Impeach Trump a Second Time (and it’s gonna take a lot longer)
President Trump’s approval rating amongst the left jumped from 7.2% to 42.7% after Russian President Vladimir Putin announced a new, deadly, and unmatched hypersonic weapon yesterday. Democrats now admit that Trump’s submissive and subservient approach with Russia makes perfect sense. … Continue reading Democrats now glad Trump has been Putin’s little bitch after Russia announces new hypersonic weapon
The USDA is defending itself after adding ‘Ass’ to the MyPlate nutritional guide in an effort grab attention, look cool and fit in with current youth culture. One promotional poster that was sent to schools recommends eating ass twice daily. … Continue reading USDA adds ‘Ass’ to MyPlate nutritional guide in misguided effort to relate to today’s youth
Pope Francis announced today that the Vatican has created a completely new Bible that aligns with scientists’ current understanding of the modern world. The new holy book will be called the Jorge Mario Betgoglio Bible after the Pope’s birth name. … Continue reading The Vatican will release a new version of the Bible that aligns with modern science
American rapper, singer, and songwriter Kanye West released his latest album titled Pensive today. The 3 hour and 12 minute album consists of 17 tracks of varying lengths which contain nothing but silence. Notably, the album sells for $199.99 and … Continue reading Kanye West drops 3 hour album of nothing but silence
The Trump administration announced today that pills filled with shredded money have been added to the official USDA Nutrition Plate at the request of Melania Trump. The First Lady says the president needs to ingest 16 of the money pills … Continue reading Melania Trump forces ‘money pills’ onto the USDA Nutrition Plate
The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year. Continue reading Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals
The TV series features music by renowned composer John Williams. Continue reading American Crime Story: Impeachment is just five hours of blowjob reenactments
Upon boarding planes over the weekend, customers immediately noticed that there were no seatbelts. Continue reading Spirit Airlines Began Using Cargo Planes Over the Weekend Without Warning Passengers
