Furries rejoice as Birkenstock announces Furkenstock sandals

YouReadyGrandma

The new line of sandals will come in 7 species options and be released in about one dog year.

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Trump Opens Marketing Company Called ‘Trump Consultation by Trump’

YouReadyGrandma

“Watch for the return of Toys “R” Trump, chains of Trumpback Steakhouse, Trumpley-Donaldson motorcycles and Old Trumpy Buffet.” – Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Failing Papa John’s Hires Shaquille O’Neal to Eat Most of Their Pizzas

YouReadyGrandma

“Papa John’s confirms that Shaq will be allowed to say the N-word at his discretion within his seven contracted advertisements.”

Awful Commercial Angers Men, Causes Hipsters to Shave Beards

YouReadyGrandma

Gillette says they intend to replace the marketing team with all female, yet conservative employees “so both sides shut up.”

Subaru Openly Markets Car Finish for Lesbians

YouReadyGrandma

Previously Subaru had used coded marketing tactics to reach lesbians.