Our Divine Creator who lives in the heavens finally lost His holy shit with the ungodly Hobby Lobby today after the company refused to close its doors during the pandemic; putting underpaid workers and customers at risk. As punishment, God … Continue reading God Gives Hobby Lobby Owners Coronavirus After ‘Getting Real Sick of Their Shit’
Scientists have discovered the oldest known material on Earth: a pubic hair that’s 7 billion years old. The finding is causing many scientists to rethink their views on religion. “Long ago this hair was most likely tucked away in God’s … Continue reading Scientists find a 7 billion-year-old pubic hair believed to belong to God
17-year old Brighton Phillips of Peoria, Arizona won an internship with NASA his senior year of high school and drove all the way to Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland. On his first full day, Phillips was tasked with examining … Continue reading 17-year-old finds Heaven on first day of NASA internship
Devout Christians Robert and Denise Ferraro of Naperville, Illinois say that they began forgetting that Christ had anything to do with Christmas when their 10-year-old daughter Cindy came home from public school last December and told them that she had… Continue reading Christians are having a really fucking hard time keeping Christ in Christmas
Although most Americans admit they aren’t worthy of going to Heaven, the vast majority also say that they haven’t made a plan for when they inevitably become God’s leftovers. What do you think? Continue reading Alarming: Most Americans have no plan for when they aren’t raptured
When asked by reporters today how he felt about Rick Perry calling him God’s “Chosen One,” president Trump faced cameras at the White House and stated “It’s cute. I think it’s really cute that Rick still thinks there’s a God. … Continue reading Trump: ‘It’s cute that Rick Perry thinks there’s a God. If anything, I’m God!’
“Americans can expect to see Christmas decorations in stores for around 5 to 6 months out of the year.” Continue reading Pope Francis Officially Moves Christmas 2019 to March
The world’s top U.S. whiskey gets an ‘offensive’ marketing overhaul. Continue reading Jack Daniel’s to Use ‘What Would Jesus Do’ Acronym
“Dennis is cool. He’s not a weird guy, and he knows a lot about football, but the other guys just didn’t seem comfortable, whatsoever, with his humor,” stated Sorenson… Continue reading Gay Friend Making Fantasy Football League Awkward
“I will be abstaining from the locker room, and football i guess, for awhile because God spoke to me and told me that I should stop doing what I’m doing,” said Wilson. ” I told God right then and there that I would.. Continue reading Star Quarterback Russell Wilson Announces “Hiatus From the Field”
This surprising move by Dawkins was nothing short of shocking as he has repeatedly made fun of those with religious beliefs for years. In the interview, Dawkins reportedly stated the following: Continue reading Richard Dawkins Apologizes for “Hostility” Toward Christians
…A move which undoubtedly does not allow Christians to express their personally-held convictions that they are entitled to under an Amendment.
Talk show radio host Rush Limbaugh, upon hearing about the gay, atheist-owned bakery in Bloomington from a caller decided to reveal just how unfair the “Godless, liberals in this country have become.” He issued this challenge to his listeners in the Greater Bloomington area… Continue reading Gay, Atheist-Owned Bakery Indifferent About What Cakes They Make
