(Denver, CO) Local man Peter Darling says the unadjustable, nearly-freezing cold water in his workplace restroom is most likely not killing off the Coronavirus, or any other germs for that matter.

“If anything, we’re probably giving the virus a nice, soothing bath while our hands go numb from 20 seconds of ice cold water,” the 70-year old Darling stated.

In response Darling – who has around a 10% chance of dying from the virus – was told that the cold tap water was the result of the company not wanting to be sued should an employee burn themselves.

“First and foremost, we take employee safety very seriously,” a company representative stated between coughs. “Secondly, the last thing we want is a bunch of employees walking around with burns, unable to shake hands with our clients. So for those two reasons, the tap water will remain at a safe and reasonable 40-degrees.”