Surgeons Will No Longer Be Required To Take Naps Halfway Through Operations


Now it’s possible to avoid having to pay a doctor for their time spent curled up on the operating table next to your barely-clothed, unconscious body.


Chris Brown Recorded Real Domestic Violence to Create Percussion Tracks on New Album


Authorities are calling Chris Brown’s new album Indigo “32 tracks of incriminating evidence” which relate to 14 new assualt allegations against the artist.

HGTV Star Candice Olson Reveals New “Toilet Room” Concept


“Having a room where everyone is encouraged to openly relieve themselves is a game changer. Period.” – HGTV

U.S. Unveils 5,000 Brand New Cages For Children on World Refugee Day


“America can’t take the tired, poor, huddled masses in without somewhere to put ’em.”

New DespAir bnb Will Arrange Lodging for Hipsters in the Ghetto

“There’s no better way to seem interesting than with a story about the time you were held at gunpoint by the East Harlem crew for wearing the wrong color romper.”

Kids, Give Dad What He Really Wants For Father’s Day: The Divorce Papers



Target Adds BDSM Section Next to Electronics


In response, Sam’s Club announced they will be selling “everything necessary to create an elaborate sex dungeon” by July.

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