A day after it was announced that both the CDC and FDA do not think a third COVID shot is necessary, Pfizer employees were spotted in back alleys across the nation trying to sell the company’s now huge surplus of COVID boosters to the general public.
“100% pure, uncut Corona boosters,” one shady Pfizer employee in a trench coat whispered as we walked by. “C’mon man, it will help you relax. It’ll take all of those COVID worries away.”
Americans have also reported being approached by sketchy Pfizer workers carrying large jugs of the medicine who tell them that getting the booster will “make you cool” or “help you get all the girls.”
When reached for comment, Pfizer CEO lbert Bourla refused to answer questions, but instead pulled our reporter aside, saying that he could sell them a booster for cheap.
“You look like a Pfizer guy. Are you a Pfizer guy?” Bourla asked while putting his arm around the reporter. “I can get you and your entire team COVID boosties for pennies on the dollar.”
As of press time Pfizer denied any involvement in the back alley vaccine selling.