While talking to reporters outside of the United States Capitol today, House Republican Leader Kevin McCarthy told journalists that he would appreciate it if they would refer to members of the Republican party as ‘QAnon’ from here on out.
“As the face of the former House Republicans I’m here to announce that we have decided that it’s time to change our party name from ‘Republican’ to ‘QAnon’,” McCarthy stated. “We voted to do this today because 56% of Republicans are believers in ‘Q’ and the majority of Republicans in the House are too. There is a very real satanistic cult of pedophiles that are controlling much of the government and we must help President Trump stop them. Finally, we firmly believe that the election was stolen and that openly forming this party is the right thing to do before the Jewish space lasers kill us all.”
As of press time McCarthy was nostalgically reading Dr. Seuss books on the House floor to the newly-formed QAnon party as they played with Mr. Potato Head dolls and ate red meat covered in Land O’Lakes butter and Aunt Jemima syrup that they had been stockpiling for months. According to a posted agenda, the next order of business for the QAnon party is to pass a bill preventing Hillary Clinton from eating any more babies.
Photo credit Medill DC