‘Q’ Says Black Smoke Rising From Capitol Chimney Means Trump Won’t Be Inaugurated Until April 1st

A change of plans for Qanon believers took place today after the group claimed that black smoke rose from the Capitol building’s chimney, indicating that a new president wouldn’t be inaugurated on this day. The group’s anonymous leader – ‘Q’ – wrote online that Trump’s March 4th inauguration was postponed until April 1st “due to threats of violence by Antifa at the Capitol again.” “We’ll see white smoke rise from that chimney on April 1st meaning Mr. Trump will be inaugurated,” the Qanon leader wrote in an online statement. “We just couldn’t do it today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen next time. Stay strong!” As of press time almost nobody knew what the fuck ‘Q’ was talking about as the Capitol building doesn’t even have a chimney. Meanwhile, Qanon believers were marking their calendars for April Fools’ Day with feverish anticipation of Trump’s second term. Photo Credit (mod) EEBS27

Marjorie Taylor Greene: ‘Bigfoot Is A Real-Life Alien That Was Attracted To Earth By Chemtrails’

YouReadyGrandma

Having already claimed that school shootings like Sandy Hook and Parkland we’re false flag operations and that 9/11 was an inside job, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene stated in a press conference today that “not only is Bigfoot real, but he’s an alien that came to earth because he was attracted by chemtrails.” “On any given day you can look up in the sky and see chemtrails shooting out the backs of airplanes. There’s no other scientific explanation for them. And it’s these very chemicals that attracted Bigfoot to our planet in the first place.” a wide-eyed Green stated. “On top of this, there have been more than 2,300 Bigfoot sightings in Washington state alone. Let that sink in.” Greene added that she’s “confident Bigfoot is blurry in real life,” stating that “all you have to do is look at the mountains of photographic evidence and you’ll see that every single photo is fuzzy or unclear.” As of press time Republicans in Congress had released a brief statement which read: “Although many of Marjorie Taylor Greene’s stances are out of the norm, she would have to say or do something far worse in order to be considered unfit for office – such as receiving oral sex from an intern.”

%d bloggers like this: