US Catholic bishops approved the creation of a new official document today that would ban politicians who support abortion rights from receiving Communion. President Joe Biden, who would be barred from the sacrament, gave a brief statement on the issue … Continue reading Biden Says He’ll ‘Just Bring Some Wheat Thins’ If Church Bans Him From Receiving Communion
Former Pope Benedict released his new book today entitled From the Depths of Our Loins: Silk Boxers & Swollen Balls. The book aims to educate the public on the sexual struggles that come with being a clergyman. What do you … Continue reading Retired Pope Benedict breaks silence on blue balls, wet dreams in Church life, and nobody wants to hear it
Devout Christians Robert and Denise Ferraro of Naperville, Illinois say that they began forgetting that Christ had anything to do with Christmas when their 10-year-old daughter Cindy came home from public school last December and told them that she had… Continue reading Christians are having a really fucking hard time keeping Christ in Christmas
The Salvation Army announced today that they’ll be using $1.58 million in donations to purchase 100,000 pocket anuses for clergymen in the Catholic Church this Christmas. The charity says their goal is to curb pedophilia. “As far as we can … Continue reading The Salvation Army says it’s donating pocket anuses to the Catholic Church to curb pedophilia
Pope Francis’ adult book is entitled ‘The Divinci Load.’ Continue reading Pope Francis Demands Every Dirty Detail on Sexual Abuse for His Adult Fantasy Novel
“We should always be looking up to God before going down to worship,” said Francis. Continue reading Pope Asks all Catholics to Pray Before Oral Intercourse
“Look people, this is ludicrous, Jesus was a white man,” said Kelly. Continue reading Pope Orders All ‘White Jesus’ Figures Removed from Churches
Trump tweeted and gave approval for the TSA to ban all passengers from flying if they dress like the suspect who is now in detainment. Continue reading United Kicked Woman Off Plane for Refusing to Remove Religious Headscarf, Speak
Many are distraught and and deeply concerned after Pope Francis announced late Monday that he would be the very last Pope. The message, which has left many people feeling Continue reading Pope Francis Announces That He Will be The Last Pope
The Pope’s admission of cannabis usage understandably resulted in many follow-up questions. Lauren Green, Chief Religion Correspondent for the Fox News Channel, asked Pope Francis why he felt that he was “in any position to speak against so-called ‘modern capitalism’.” Continue reading Breaking: Pope Francis Admits to Marijuana Usage
“I know that normally previous Popes and religious leaders would ask you to pray for those in Nepal,” stated Pope Francis. “In lieu of this, I’m asking for people to Continue reading Pope Says Nepal Earthquake is an ‘Act of God’ and Calls for Change
A recent in-depth study by the American Pornography Society (APS) reveals that the massive ongoing sex scandals in the Catholic Church have considerably hurt the “religious pervert on preteen” genre of the multi-billion dollar adult industry. Steve Owens, the head of Research and Development at APS tearfully released the shocking information late Friday night. “It’s just saddening. Saddening and disgusting,” Owens said, “To think that such a great genre of adult entertainment could be ransacked by such an evil group of unabashedly sick men.” Owens continued by stating the major differences between the boy rape of the Catholic Church and … Continue reading Somewhat Popular Pornography Genre Takes A Dive in Revenue
